Ask Olive: He Left Me Hanging When I Needed Someone the Most
Ask Olive

I do think that people can’t always deal with this sort of thing when it happens to their friends. I lost my mom when I was in college — a lot of my friends had no idea how to help, and a couple got mad at me and told me to “get over it,” when I started to cry (seemingly, to them, randomly) about 6 months after she died. None (zero) of my friends had lost a parent, many hadn’t ever lost anyone (had all 4 grandparents, etc.). One by one, over the course of a couple years, most of my closest friends came to me and said “you know, as soon as I heard what happened, I called my mom and was like ‘mommy…’” So many had been terrified by what happened to me. So they couldn’t deal. This might be what is happening here with this guy. It does NOT make it right. But it does, maybe, explain why it is happening. Maybe he’ll grow up and come back and apologize, maybe not. I’m not sure how old these folks are, but the younger they are, the more likely the friendship can be saved, etc. That said, I’m so sorry for the writer’s loss. It is such a difficult and lonely thing to go through.