Childfree Is A Legitimate Choice
The Nib

I don’t have kids. I’m an only child, and as a child, I never had interested in playing with baby dolls, etc. I never got along great with kids. I figured I’d meet someone, get married, and have kid(s), because that’s what was done. Over time I realized I didn’t want kids. I didn’t actively NOT want kids, really, and I think maybe, if my life had taken a different turn, I’d have had a kid or two. BUT I don’t regret not having any and now I really don’t want any. My husband and I agreed on that (long before marrying), and we’re fine.

I get the whole “do you have kids…” question. It is personal, deeply so, but it is also very social. It’s a lot like “what do you do for a living?” It’s not really anyone’s business, but today it is a common intro conversation.

I’m very lucky — in my world there are a lot of folks who don’t have kids (academia and the arts) and no one gives me trouble about it. I think most folks who know me (or know about it me at all at works, etc.) know better than to try to shame me about it. I’ve never been shamed. I think some folks have said, “you’ll change your mind.” (I certainly *can* change my mind. I thought there were perfectly nice, reasonable people and then I changed my mind).

I will say, some folks are vague on why they don’t have kids. Many women I know leave the implication that they can’t hanging in the air. I think it is a cover for some. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even when they are in couples and it is a mutual decision, the derision from it always falls way more on the women than the men. Maybe that isn’t always the case, but it is in what I’ve seen.

“Childfree is a Legitimat Choice” shouldn’t even need to be said.

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