Vacationer Captivated By Mediocre Art

It’s all bewitching.

Emily Schleiger
Jul 24, 2017 · 1 min read
We may never get her back.

STURGEON BAY, Wis. — Softly cooing sounds of approval, out-of-town visitor Phyllis Malton was observed expressing her awe of the just-about-average paintings displayed on the walls of local gallery Art & Soul, sources confirmed Saturday. “This piece takes my breath away! It’s like it’s inviting me into the scene itself,” the spellbound shopper from Chicago whispered, referring to a 36×48 earth-toned watercolor interpretation of an uncelebrated Midwestern marsh with faceless Canada geese flying overhead. “And did you see this? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an oil pastel of sailboats so bewitching. It’s an original, signed by the Door County artist himself, who lives part of the year in Santa Fe!” At press time the beguiled sojourner was seen handing over her credit card in exchange for a $450 16×20 glycee of an aimless golden retriever lounging on a snow-covered dairy farm.

[originally published on Robot Butt]

Emily Schleiger

Written by

Writer. Sometimes funny. McSweeney’s, Reductress, Second City Network, The Big Jewel, The Belladonna, etc.

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