Home is a Feeling
18 times. The number of times I have moved throughout my 28 years of life. Each time I find myself settling into a new home, the same question is asked: Where are you from?
Do I say where I was born? Or maybe where I have lived the longest? Maybe the last place I lived? After some experimentation, my answers have ranged from:
-I moved here from Salt Lake City.
-A bit all over the USA, but have lived in Oslo for the past 5 years.
-I was born in Minnesota, grew up in Wisconsin, studied in Utah, parents live in Florida, siblings in Texas and Arizona.
Is it possible to un-complicate that question? Or provide a clearer answer?
What I do know, and what I’ve found out throughout this journey is: Home is a feeling, not a place.
To me, home is a community, network, effort and energy. It is a feeling of safety, belonging, peace and comfort.
When I am in Florida scuba diving with dad, riding shotgun in mom’s convertible jamming out to her 80s music, or walking our family dog, Kaya on the golf course in the early mornings, I feel at home.
When I’m in Houston playing in the pool with my nephews, taking morning jogs around cute brick-clattered neighborhoods, or shopping with my sis, I feel at home.
When I’m in the Norwegian mountains with good friends, jumping into the sea at Tjuvholmen after a run around Bygdøy, or sipping a matcha latte at my favorite cafe in the city, I feel at home.
When I make new friends and share experiences about life, career goals, dreams and aspirations, I feel at home.
When I choose to honor myself in a routine that makes me feel balanced and at peace, I feel at home.
This year marks five years of living in Oslo. I can’t believe I’m typing that. When I moved here, I planned on staying here for a year or two. What an incredible (and challenging) adventure it has been.
It has flown by in a blur of transition, moving five times, getting rid of all the ‘extras’, switching jobs, saying goodbye to a long-term relationship, becoming closer with my friends and family, making new friends, trying new things, creating more meaningful work, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and of course — lots of adventures.
Living and experiencing life in another country has always been something I have wanted to do, but I never dreamed it would turn into life as I know it.
After having moved 18 times, it has become a drill of sorts. I have packed up my belongings, moved them across towns, state lines, college campuses and eventually across the world.
Each time, that same mix of excitement and anxiety creeps in. What is next? The bittersweet feeling of leaving behind a chapter that has served me well. Each time, with immense amounts of gratitude in my heart for what was, with an equal amount of excitement for what will be.
Moving thousands of miles away from everything comfortable and safe has had its challenges — but there is so much joy and reward that gets tacked on to that list. I couldn’t imagine life any other way.
For many people, home means where they grew up, where their parents are, the town they go home to each Christmas. For me, I have become my own home. I am my own constant and as unsexy as the process has been, it feels so damn rewarding to be able to say that.⠀⠀⠀
We all want a place to feel like home. But instead of focusing on a location, why don’t we focus on the feeling?
Think: What makes me feel at home? How can I create a space of comfort? Who makes me feel at home?
This. This is where we can find calm.
Home is comfort, home is where you feel whole. Home is a feeling.
