fail and fail often

i have often struggled with a fear of failure, and according to Brene Brown, if one struggles with perfectionism, these things go hand in hand. i want my life to seem perfect, but my version of perfect, which sometimes does not include messy situations. But in case you didn’t know, life is messy!!

Dealing with the messy pieces of my life is difficult for me sometimes. It is easy to put them away and avoid them, or sometimes it is easy to let them overwhelm me and swallow me whole. For me, when i “fail,” this will often gravitate in my life in forms of depression.

i have failed often in my life. i do not say this in a self deprecating way, or even in a negative way. i did not get my license until i was 21, i have failed many classes in college after doing well in high school, i have been in “failed” relationships that did not go exactly how i saw them turning out. i fail in every day ways, like wanting to exercise and read more, be a better friend.

failures will happen, and i share some of mine to say: this is life. life is messy, we are not perfect beings, so these “failures” are inevitable. so what will you do with them? will you let them consume you, or will you avoid them entirely? what are you going to choose to do?

failure has been a fearful thing for me, but i know it does not have to be. i do not have to be defined by the things i did not do right, but i can choose to let those things shape me, and affect me in positive ways.

fail, and fail often. our failures lead us to what matters to us most. leading a life where failure doesn’t exist is exhausting, and perfectionism is a trap. no one is perfect, and neither are you, and neither am i. so live in the truth that you are enough just the way you are. your failures can either shape you or tear you down, so make the choice of how they will be used. i have too often allowed my failures to tear me down and allow me to think i was not enough, so i want to make the choice to let them mold me and not define me, and i hope you do too.