Update 1 from New year Resolutions

Hello World

I am writing this on a Sunday evening, one week before Spring break begins. I have been mixed up with multiple feeling from tiredness to unexplained anxiety. He suggested me to see a psychological counselor at school but is a counselor someone who I need to keep with anxiety away? Besides talking about my feelings, I am going to write a short update on my old post, “New Year Resolutions.”

Part I: the demons

I know them, I know them very well. The anxiety, they came in the past, went off, and recently came back again like an old friend. Everyday I look at everyone around me and assume that they would not understand, experience, or know what kind of demons I am baring inside. I ask myself, why can’t I be carefree and being able to “put them in the back of my head.” If life wants me to suffer this anxiety, I have no choice but facing them for the rest of my life.

Part II: the update

a screenshot from “late New Year Resolutions”
  1. I actually like the job and I have been seeing my coworkers as friends and family. However, I am still working on keeping my GPA high enough for another employed year.
  2. I am not sure about this. This weekend I cooked some basic food to save money, but not necessarily improve my health.
  3. My time managing skill is not the best. To be honest, I am still struggling with arranging time slot for studying and social activities.
  4. This topic is long and complicated, I will have a specific post about this. On the other hand, I can summarize our status: doing okay but occasionally minimal conflicts all from the other Emily.
  5. Well I brushed my teeth everyday.
  6. Our security club are going through a crisis. I will manage my time to learn Wireshark over this spring break and pull out a decent workshop.
  7. Again, I am actually surprised that this is my resolution. And I am disappointed because nothing has changed, look at Part I: the demons above, this is solid proof that I am still worried about unexplained and might-happen-in-the-future things.
  8. And I am running out of resolutions to update.

I am still struggling finding an internship, may be things don’t really work out as we expect them to do.

Part III: now what?

Whenever finding myself stuck in a shit hole, I tend to find an alternative way, or a direct solution. However, there isn’t really any solution for this case except waiting for an answer and planning for plan B.

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