For when you don’t feel OK

Hi friend,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time. I’m really sorry that you’re hurt, or exhausted, or scared, or lonely, or depressed, or lost, or all of the above.

I don’t know what exactly you’re going through, or how bad it is. I don’t know if you’re having an isolated few rainy days, or if these are a few days in a long succession of hard weeks, months, or even years.

You may think otherwise, but you are not alone. If everything seems impossible, please know that you are not alone in feeling this. It’s okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to think that life is really hard and really shitty right now. You don’t have to find the positive in what you are going through. You don’t have to put on a brave face. You don’t have to fake your smile to prevent hurting your loved ones. Please know that you are allowed to break. Sometimes that means you’re going up. Some things get a lot worse before they are better.

When the overwhelming and scary thoughts get hold of you, reach out to someone. I want you to let me into your darkness. Let other people help, they want to. You deserve what ever help that you need. You are not burden to me or anyone. Your problems are not too small to talk about, and not too complicated for others to understand.

I promise you that no matter how hard things are right now, there are brighter days ahead. Please don’t give up. There are people who love you very much and will miss you if you go. There are people who will be devastated that they didn’t get a chance to know you better. One day, someone will need to hear the story of how brave you are. Maybe he’s a colleague who stayed at the office late, thinking that his job is too stressful and he can’t cope with it anymore. Maybe it’s a friend who recently broke up with their partner and grieving the loss. Or maybe it’s your son who doesn’t feel like he can confide in you, fearing that he might hurt you by telling you that he’s struggling. They all need you. Just like you need other people to help you feel okay right now.

“Please stay alive, for every future joy. For the next album you’re going to love, for the best concert you haven’t been to yet, for your wedding or your husband or your wife, for the kids you have or dream of having. Please stay alive to be surprised, by love and hope and help.” — Jamie Tworkowski

It may seem like you are trapped in this black box with no air or light and you can’t escape, but I want you to know that there is a reason you are still here. You have so much strength and courage in you to be enduring this storm. You have managed to survive this every single day. You can do it again.

In writing this, please know that I hear you, and you are so, so loved. You are beautiful inside and out and I wish you could see that in yourself. We all need a person like you in our lives.

You matter. You matter very much. Please stay.

With love,


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