Who needs a real family when I’m in the IKEA Family club?

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Photo by Devon Janse van Rensburg on Unsplash

Dear Long Lost Ex-Høsbånd,

I find myself today at IKEA. There are many options out there for low-cost home goods, but somehow I always end up here.

Something to do with the meatballs.

Hey — remember the home we used to share? The centrally-located 2.5 room Altbau where you continue to live, but without any trace of me?

I used to love that 70 square meters of sanctuary, where we could revel in each other’s easy company, nurse hangovers, walk around without pants. …

Because suicide rarely takes only one life.

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Photo by Yuliya Kosolapova on Unsplash

Tomorrow, I will be released from the psychiatric hospital. I’ve been here a month, facing down my demons and learning how to rebuild a life torn apart by a brain that doesn’t work quite as it should.

My diagnosis is printed, stamped, and signed — the only benchmarks that matter in making something offiziell here in Germany. I have my follow-up therapies scheduled. I am ready to go. Ready to pick up the pieces of my shattered life. I will be fine. I know it.

I’ve been lonely here — mental illness can be isolating in itself, but my lack of perfect fluency in German has prevented me from connecting to most of the other patients in an easy and meaningful way. …

If the product is free, then the product is me.

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Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash

Facebook is quickly becoming the ‘Vampire Squid’ of the #datacrisis era. Just as we vilified Goldman Sachs for embodying everything wicked during the Financial Crisis, why don’t we stop beating around the bush when it comes to Facebook?

Let’s face it- what was conceived as a novel dorm-room experiment has warped into something unrecognisable and grotesque, something that embodies all things nefarious within the ‘establishment’. Who knew that The Social Network could turn so malicious?

By now the Facebook/Cambridge Analytica fiasco is old news. But, the plot continues to thicken. Recently Facebook also announced that up to 90M accounts have been hacked, that this hack could have exposed individuals’ 3rd party apps to malevolence, and to boot, they aren’t even fully sure whether or not a hack actually took place! …


Emily Hirschberg

Berlinerin, Copywriter, Hedgehog Enthusiast

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