The Slacker’s Guide to Self Improvement
5 Ways to Grow During a Pandemic
I am a self-help junkie.
It surprises no one I know that I’ve picked up the most recent book on channeling your brainwaves to manifest your destiny or arranging your furniture to predict the future.
As someone who is heavily plugged into this fetish of personal development, I also know that about 10% of it actually finds a way to stick in my life. While I love self-improvement, I am also a notorious slacker.
Because of this, I am seeing so many wonderful newbies enter into their pandemic cocoons preparing for transformation into a beautiful butterfly once we return to some semblance of normality. And all I can do is worry like an over-protective mama bear.
Please, dear novices, do not try to change everything about yourself in one sitting.
Instead, think of this time as a miniature opportunity to sneak in a little development. Nothing crazy here. I like to approach this process like slipping some kale into your kid’s smoothie. Just enough to make a little difference, but not enough to send anyone into a tantrum.
Self-development isn’t just big seminars, thick books, or turning your life upside down. Sometimes it’s tiny shifts in the right direction. And even a slacker can find their own, simple way to grow.
Here are 5 ways of sneaking in the proverbial development kale.
1. Meditation
I’ve been doing meditation every morning for about a decade now. Before you think I’m bragging on my super duper zen-ness — think again.
I hate meditation.
I hate making time. I hate sitting up straight. I hate settling my mind. I hate being present. Hate it.
But…I love doing something good for myself. I love a more peaceful heart. I love calmness. I love peace.
You can hate on meditation and love it at the same time.
Slacker Pro Tip:
When I first started meditating I would hear the alarm go off and hit the snooze button. Then for the next 9 minutes I would do a simple 4-count inhale and 6-count exhale. I was still half asleep, so a busy mind wasn’t much of an issue. Instead I just felt more connected to my body.
When the alarm went off again, I wiggled my fingers and toes and turned off the buzzing. Best part, it’s ONLY 9 MINUTES. And at the end you’ve done something good for your heart, brain, and nervous system before your feet have even hit the floor.
2. Read More
I’m a lifelong reader and know the profound effect it has had on my imagination, empathy, intellect, and ability to duck out of reality when things get too crazy. However, I find it harder and harder to find time to read. So, here’s how I figured out how to keep up with my bookworm friends on GoodReads and get lost in some fictional drama or true crime for a spell.
Slacker Pro Tip:
I caved in to audiobooks.
Now I have found 20 more minutes to “read” each morning while I’m getting ready for work, another 20 back and forth to the store, 20 more waiting for kids to roll out of after-school activities, and a hot 10 at night like a sweet bedtime story. I’m blowing through books more quickly than I can download them.
Bonus Tip:
Because I’m as big a cheapskate as I am slacker, I use my local library’s ginormous online collection. For free.
3. Learn a New Trick
How many of us dream of taking up a musical instrument, speaking a second language, or creating a work of art? I mean, I don’t have the data, but I’d be willing to bet there are a lot of us.
Learning something new gives us a sense of accomplishment, pride, and well, a new freaking skill. However, we lament that we don’t have the time, money, or resources. I get it. It’s real. But if this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that there are tons of FREE resources online and at our disposal. And while we’re dispelling myths, we always have a little more time than we think. You know how I know?
Slacker Pro Tip:
My husband has always wanted to learn the banjo. So, for Christmas I bought him one. He looked at me like I had given him old socks and moldy fruitcake.
What we soon came to realize is that he did want to learn to play banjo, but now there was the pressure of actually learning to play banjo. Well, we solved that with our new Commercial Break Sessions.
During commercial breaks (or for 10 minutes in between Netflix show binging) my husband plucks away on his banjo and I flip through the Spanish flash cards I bought myself 4 years ago. I’m blown away by how good he’s gotten on his instrument and how many rando words I could pull out in a pinch in Madrid. If we every get out of this quarantine.
¿Cómo te gusto ahora?
Translation: How you like me now? Which you would know if you had some Spanish flashcards.
4. Avoid Negative People
You can work on yourself all day long, but there is also some easy growth to be had by simply removing stuff that doesn’t serve you.
I’m not saying quit your job because of your tool of a boss or let your driver’s license lapse because you can’t stand the silent judgement of the dude taking photos at the DMV. But we all have areas where we can limit our exposure to mean, nasty, trite, abusive, snarky, dismissive, etc. people.
You can’t avoid every knucklehead, but you certainly can limit your exposure.
Slacker Pro Tip:
Here’s a quick and easy way to start a negativity purge. Block two pessimistic people on Facebook or your social channel of choice. Everyone’s got a dodgy uncle, high school crush, or ex-coworker whose not-so-subtle racist or misogynistic comments make your skin crawl. You don’t have to confront them or even unfriend them. You can Hide them from your feed and move on to inspirational quotes and cat videos, because that’s where the Internet has always been at its best.
Bonus Tip:
Extra credit if you stop posting negative or snarky posts or comments on your feed. Uh oh — did I take you one step further than you were ready to go? Sorry, we’re not here to accrue points for sainthood.
5. Journaling
Almost every self-help guru has recommended some sort of journaling to me. Whether it’s a daily gratitude journal or a reckoning of my food choices or affirmations to give me a kick in the booty.
As a writer, I believe in the power of putting words to paper (or Word document). I believe that by stating our intensions or reviewing our thoughts and feelings we can achieve true change in our lives. Having said that, I have never successfully kept a journal.
That is, until I realized one day that I’d been journaling for over a decade… (insert dramatic, suspenseful music)
Slacker Pro Tip:
I’d gone back to some older Instagram posts to recall some thoughts I’d jotted down. As I scrolled through years of posts, I began to see my own little journal appear.
While I hadn’t purchased a precious notebook with leather binding or an inspirational quote on the front, I had been jotting down thoughts and feelings on these simple social posts. I saw when I was joyful and what triggered it. I read my thoughts on relationships and politics. I read moments of sorrow and loss. I read posts that were bullshit and insincere. I saw my journey and began to piece together some patterns of growth.
So much self-reflection and recognition of patterns can be gained through journaling. So, do a quick skim of some of your old posts on your platform of choice. Then ask yourself a few questions: Do your posts ring true? Do you notice patterns? Is this someone you want to invite over for coffee? Does this person need a hug? Give yourself some love and urge yourself to be as authentic as possible. Checking in on ourselves is one of the best ways to create the kind of positive change we want in our lives.
