My dad always told me, “no one can make you feel guilty against your will.” This was because of his Jewish upbringing mostly where we would joke that if you told my Grandma how much you liked the roast at dinner she would say, “what, so you didn’t like my pie?”
Anyway, I always took it to mean that if I found myself feeling guilty I really needed to look at what I had done and it’s impact on the other person. Guilt comes from within.
Shame on the other hand comes from external sources (for me). It can become internalized, but I never starts there.
I wanna say more, but the baby just woke up.