Emily
Emily
Jul 24, 2017 · 2 min read

Mom and Dad,

First off, I’m sorry for disappointing you. I’m sorry I can’t be the person you want me to be. I really wish I could, but it just isn’t possible. Anyway, I have been thinking about things and you guys and I wanted to give you some insights into how I’ve been feeling lately to try to give you a picture into what I’ve been going through.

For the first time since I can remember (say high school), I don’t feel like there are two people inside of me. I don’t think I have some form of multiple personality disorder. By accepting who I am, I’m finally able to consolidate the two me’s under one roof. There were never two people, I’m just different. And I’m just me.

I know it’s difficult for you, but you have to understand how freeing and liberating it is. Are there struggles? Sure. But for the first time I’m able to tackle my issues with my whole focus instead of half. I’m able to be public with who I am and not hide in shadows. I can confidently go out in public as me. I can open up to people completely instead of being scared that I can never let people know who I really am.

Every day, I feel stronger than the day before. People keep telling me I’m being brave or courageous, but really I’m just finally firing on all cylinders. I’m being me and that’s all there is to it.

I have no regrets about doing this (other than causing you pain). If I could have avoided it, I would have, but I just want you to try to understand how I feel about all of this.

I keep harping on this idea, but I’ve been thinking about it lately after a friend mentioned how I had seemed so conflicted in the past. No matter what was going on good or bad, I always had this other side of me that I had to hide. After thinking about it for a while, I can really understand what they meant. I always had this huge piece of baggage that I was hiding from everyone and didn’t accept. It boiled over into all parts of my life.

I am at peace now. I’ve never been so calm. I’m able to handle issues personally and professional so much more easily now with calm and composure. My friendships are strong and I’m doing better at work than I ever have.

I hope one day you can accept me as I am, but either way I love you both very much.

    Emily

    Written by

    Emily

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