Peer Review
Letter from and to Sydney Shores
Emily,
I just read your Biography… and let me say I’m thoroughly impressed! I never would have thought about someone using the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song in their English portfolio, but you did it. Starting out with that theme song but with your own description really caught my attention, and it definitely isn’t something I’d read everyday, so it really intrigued me. Your Biography really showed me who you are as a person, and I also admire the usage of the quote “Be who you were created to be, and you’ll set the world on fire”, along with the emphasis on how much you love UGA, because it also inspired me in a way, making me realize the love I have for this school as well. Additionally, in your IRE, I really enjoyed the story about eighth grade at the beginning. I feel as if it really set the scene for you to talk about your essays. I read your third essay analyzing your stand-up comedy, and I’ve never been to Valdosta, so now I really wish I could see your stand-up act! Overall, I love the originality to your work. It really makes me want to keep reading more!
Suggestions wise, I only have a few. In your Biography, I noticed a tense agreement that should possibly be changed where you stated, “I could be me. I can be…” I’m thinking that you should change the “could” to “can” because in the following sentence you also use the word “can” which adds to the dramatic effect of repetition it appears you are doing. Also, on the first line of the last paragraph of your essay “Analysis to Where is Valdosta?” I would put a comma after “Ultimately”. Since it is the beginning of a paragraph, I feel as if it should be treated like a transition word. Honestly, I read through everything and I just could not find very many errors!
I’m glad we share such a great love for the University of Georgia, and I’m also glad we could spend a combined 2 ½ hours a week learning about comedy in English class together. Have a great Christmas break, and Goooooooo Dawgs!
Sincerely,
Sydney Shores
P.S. I remember seeing you in that milk carton costume on Halloween, and you absolutely killed it!!!
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Dearest Sydney,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of your essays! I specifically enjoyed your career arch over Robin Williams. I loved all the exciting background information on Williams’s life and career expeditions. I have never seen “Jack”, but its societal impact and your description has enticed me to watch it. I also admire all of the pictures and gifs you incorporated in your essays. Pictures and even your quote layouts kept me excited to read more due to the perfect flow of the piece. I could definitely feel your graphic design back ground coming alive in your essays.
Although I did enjoy reading your essays, I did collect some notes. After all, how are we supposed to get better if we don’t have anything to improve on? Firstly, although the play by play is interesting in your essay over Key and Peele, I do believe you could have expanded more on the enhanced comedy in the sketch. Possibly describe the filming techniques the creators used to enhance the sketch. In sketch comedy, the props and filming techniques truly set the content apart from all other forms of comedy.
It has been an awesome semester with you! You are truly a talented artist. I noticed your talent in the beginning of the semester while you were designing a Brumby T-Shirt! I have even purchased the buttons you and your roommate made for the football season. I hope to see more of you in the future. Keep pursing what you love! Go Dawgs!
Sincerely,
Emily Posas