The 5 Love Languages Book Review
5 Love Languages:
Ë Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation includes giving humble requests, expressing admiration/ praise, or conveying sincere gratitude to our loved ones. Listing down what I am grateful of daily always helps me reflect on how lucky I am, from small pleasant surprises in daily encounters to long term goals attained. The gratitude comes from the assistance of countless people, and mostly it leads back to our loved ones who has always been supportive. Expressing words of affirmation requires practice in openness and compassion, as speaking our thoughts openly and warmly does not come naturally at first. Yet people never tire of praise and gratitude, and it is important to show our appreciation in long term relationships.
Ë Quality Time
Having quality conversations, doing activities that are mutually enjoyed, and giving undivided attention to our loved ones are quality time well spent, especially in our fast-paced world full of digital distractions. Spending quality time could be as attainable as gathering the family around the table to enjoy a home-made dinner while enjoying the warm ambience radiating from quality conversations, soft music, and good cuisine, or it could be an annual holiday getaway in family trips abroad. We can be in the same space yet distant from each other, thus quality conversations that reach mutual understanding is of vital importance, coming from our empathy and listening to understand. I feel that quality conversations can be easily generated from the change of landscape, thus taking a walk or hiking together, sitting on the train watching the scenery flow by, embarking on distant travels helps generate topic that flows easily from our hearts. Sedentary activities such as sitting by a café watching passerbys or preparing dinner together with Mom is also a favorite pastime for me, as it is until we slow down and attain peace in our hearts that we start to enjoy the magical moments.
Ë Receiving Gifts
Giving and receiving gifts are both arts that requires the grace and gratitude. Simple gifts can bring huge significance, as a postcard, handmade craft, or souvenirs brought from distant lands stock memories of the gift giver and beautiful occasions.
Ë Acts of Service
Acts of service for family could be helping out on chores, volunteering to do dishes for the night, or taking over certain responsibilities when Mom or Dad has had a busy day. I guess emotional intelligence comes handy in situations where chores have to be
Ë Physical Touch
Physical touch puts down barriers in a lot of social settings, for instance shaking hands, a pat on the back, warm hugs, or placing our hands on someone’s shoulder can loosen up the ambience and convey our feelings stronger than language.
“The in-love experience is euphoric, but true love doesn’t begin until the in-love experience has run its course.” Sometimes we would look at young and sweet couples immersed inside their own world, but it is the old pairs who has walked through the ups and downs of life that would be greatly respected. Staying in love is a choice, and filling in the love tank continuously in a strong and stable relationship is a lifelong lesson to learn in the different stages of life.
Having quality conversations and looking beyond superficial characteristics are paths that forge strong love bonds. “Your picture of a perfect mate should give you some idea of your primary love language”, and for me, quality time definitely comes first, while words of affirmation and acts of service comes in the second. Spending quality time together is very important when family members are all engaged in hectic lifestyles, thus quality time spent with my family is always cherished. My father commutes daily across cities, and after my commute experience (both in HK island and also from Taichung to Taipei), I realized how mentally and physically challenging it can be just by waiting and getting from one stop to another. Realizing the importance of time spent with our loved ones is also a revelation after my study in Hong Kong, as I realize that my leisure time spent in Taichung would only decrease after busier studies in my junior and senior years.
From the interaction between Mom and Dad, I found both flaws and masterful parts of their different love languages. Even though we might not be born with the natural talents of speaking the love language of our loved ones, respect, mutual understanding, compassion, and gratefulness will create a harmonious and constantly learning relationship, by letting love in and giving it out. Well goes the saying, “True love liberates, and we find independence in union. We realize our self-worth and our own significance in love and therefore are free to develop our own potential.”