Safe Spaces and Special Snowflakes Are Ruining America

By Martin Templeton

I for one have had it with all of this nambypamby safe space bullshit, and I know I’m not the only one.

This country was founded on the institutions of free thought and liberty, God dammit (sorry, didn’t mean to blaspheme) and I’m sick and tired of a certain selection of Americans trying to tell me what to think, what to say, and where I can say it. When I talk about these folks, you know exactly who I mean…

Let me tell you, this country has become way too politically correct. If you ask me, that’s the central problem with this nation. Too many sniveling, oversensitive little crybabies who can’t handle talking like a grown up to other adults. It’s time to pull on your big girl panties, and grow some tougher skin!

It’s gotten so bad, I can’t hardly go to the store without having some cuck tell me that I can’t call my fellow man whatever I damn well please. If I feel like calling a guy Hitler, I should be within my God given right to do so, you know what I’m saying? But suddenly we’re not allowed to call out fascist authoritarians when we see them. It’s a sad state of affairs, that I can tell you.

I’ll tell you what, when we can’t even speak our minds without some asshat calling for us to get fired just for being honest, there’s a sad future ahead for this country.

It’s called the first amendment, douche bags!

While we’re on the topic of first amendment rights, when the people feel like they aren’t being heard, and they take to the streets to protest, suddenly politicians start spinning out of control and say we’re ‘rioting’.

I shouldn’t have to apologize to every Tom Dick and Harry just because I hurt their delicate feelings. This is America, you pussies! Build a bridge, and get over it!

Look, I’m a 2nd Amendment guy. I own a gun, and I support my military unconditionally. I don’t take any bullshit from anybody, and I can’t stand it when someone dishonors our fighting men and women in uniform.

That’s why I get so angry when people tell me I can’t take my gun any place I please. You got these sensitive little flowers everywhere in this country who can’t even handle a gun in their little gun free zone.

And then I open up my twitter feed today and what do I see? Another special snowflake begging for a safe space, that’s what.

This country is going to hell in a handbasket, I’ll tell you what…


Martin Templeton is a man of the nation. He enjoys boobs, beer, bratwurst and watching the American flag waft gently in the wind. They say Mamma didn’t take no guff, well neither does Martin. In his free time, he enjoys shooting beer cans off the back porch, lighting the fireworks on the Fourth of July and playing field hockey.