Is there really a god?

I have had a lot of time on my hands recently and with a lot of time comes a constantly wandering mind and for real tho? Is there ‘God’ or is it an old folktale, was the bible written by men who had lived many years and had chosen to document what they had seen for many years and they made us believe they had some special insight and their eyes beheld the wonder. If we are being honest, there is actually nothing new under the sun, and the reason the bible seems to make perfect sense is because it it the past that seems to be re-occurring, life is a cycle and things that have happened before may tend to happen again, maybe not a few years apart, sometimes thousands of years apart.

What if Jesus was a mere handsome man that was beard ganged and told a lot of things that seemed believable and had a lot of people follow him and believe in him because they needed something to believe in, so they chose a man who seemed like he could take all their troubles away, a man they could trust in, maybe the Bible itself is an exaggerated turn of events and a lot of things written in it didnt seem to happen the way they did? What if people were so desperate for a savior they chose the handsome man Jesus Christ and chose to bow at his feet and pray in his name, therefore idolizing him?

What if the book of revelations is someones wild imagination that was meant to be made a Hollywood movie if technology existed at the time, what if the story of creation isn’t true and we were all once apes (i’d hate to be an ape tbh). What if Heaven and Hell are ideologies created to make men act right while here on earth, to be honest the Bible is a beautiful guide telling you what to do and when to do what to do. But what if it was a wise man who sat and wrote the book, chapter by chapter, passing on the scroll to someone else as he took his dying breath.

Each book about a different man and the victories he won, what if the nail passes through the hand of an innocent man and the people further on idolized the man as tho what they did when he lived wasn’t enough. What if we are our own higher power? What if we can control the turn of our events, what if what we say when we pray out loud is a way or reminding the universe to align in our favor. We do not own idols, because it is infuriating to see something stand right in front of you and know as you kneel to pray before it, it can neither hear you nor answer you.

What if the offerings we give in church are our widow’s mite, used shamelessly and lavishly by the men who remind us to give more and more. The more we give the less we have, but we are taught to give, that it would come back to you, good measures, pressed down, shaken together and running over. But the church takes from the poor, constantly thriving off the ignorance and desperation of the poor. If you give this amount, you get this back, like God is a magician.

As I type all of these, I still have my unwavering faith and believe in God, i believe in the Bible and I believe in the word of God. And the reason I do this is because it is better to believe in something, to stand by something to be represented by something. I am part of the body of Christ even when I am not a living sacrifice to God and even when my ways do not follow the desire of God. I believe in the grace of his word and I believe he hears and listens and answers, but do I still have questions like the layman would? No I do not do i have relevant and intelligent answers for the layman? Maybe No. Because somehow I just chose to believe, maybe because I have had experiences because of what I believe in or maybe because I have always held on to the fact that ‘What ever you believe in would surely work for you’ believing in God and in the sovereignty of a higher power seems to work. I might not be an active pursuer or even the best of God-Followers but what I have chosen to believe in has worked and is still working for me.