July 20, 2017, 9:08pm
Hi, this is my first entry. My name is Emma, and i’m from Canada. I started off, going on tumblr, but this feels more real as a writing software. I guess this place will be a place where I can write down my feelings. Today was kind of hard. I love this girl, but she lives 8 hours away, we’ve never met, but i am so deeply in love her.. She makes me smile, laugh, cry, and loves me when I can’t love myself. One of the first weeks of July, I ended things. It was getting hard, we barely messaged, it seemed that we never had time together, and I thought it was for the best. That night, I stayed up crying. I couldn’t stop. I thought i’d be okay, and i’d get over her, but i can’t. But then, I have this best friend, he lives a couple streets away, and he has feelings for me, but he doesn’t understand how I can like someone that lives across America. I’ve been trying to win her back and to be honest, it’s been hard. Really fucking hard. Along with that, I have a best friend named Kyrstie. We’ve been best friends through everything, but I think there is something wrong with her. She’s been looking at girls with anorexia, barely eating, and it scares me. I get it , she’s trying to lose weight, but what hurts the most, is that she won’t tell me. I know this isn’r right, but I looked through her phone, but it was because I was scared of her health, and turns out she’s talking to my ex best friend and they are both helping eachother become skinnier, but what hurts the most, is that she’s talking about me saying, “Yeah, Emma is so annoying, she’s stopping me from starving myself”, and it really sucks, like.. i dont know. I had to randomly leave her house because I felt like I was going to blow up on her.. If only she realized that I cared, but she treats me like shit sometimes, and it hurts, but maybe she just doesn’t care. Well, this is all for tonight.. Bye.
~Emma
