I work for an online video company, and there’s a lot of pressure to be creative and constantly coming up with ideas. Not only ideas but ideas that will translate into videos that get millions of likes and shares. I feel like my brain never has the time to switch off. I am constantly stressed about coming up with new ideas. I constantly worry and discourage myself with thoughts that my ideas are not great, not as good as my colleagues. Its also extremely competitive.
I get really stressed out with juggling the pre-production, shooting and editing of multiple projects at the same time and worry that I am slower than other people. Noone seems to look quite as frazzled as I am, I feel…who knows. You can never tell what’s going on in someone elses mind…but that’s how I feel.
I get stressed out because people always want to know what you’re working on and somehow talking about what I have to do/should be doing instead of talking to them makes me feel stressed out….it makes my anxiety go up but weirdly, also makes me procrastinate out of fear. I think I self-sabotage. What a mess. Writing this all is making me realize how much of a mess my mind is to be honest.
I do always get things done…but it usually takes a toll on my health — Im too old for all-nighters and copious amounts of coffee/too much processed food.