Allllll of the Pre-Existing Conditions; or, An Open Letter to Donald Trump

Mr. Trump,

I hear you’ve had a busy week. In fact, perhaps you are to be commended for the speed with which you’ve eroded progress, eating away years’ worth of small victories in a matter of days.

Let me be clear: I am not cut out to be a revolutionary. In fact, I specifically remember reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and thinking, “Thank God I don’t have to rebel against a regime. It sounds like a lot of work and not enough time for napping.” I think it’s safe to say this sentiment is fairly ubiquitous. In fact, when the bayonets were laid down in 1783, people likely thought they’d be solid for a few dozen generations.

Well, congratulations, sir. You’ve catalyzed us. I would appeal to you humbly, if I thought an entreaty would do any good, or that a plea or supplication could permeate the self-congratulatory facsimile of reality in which you’ve ensconced yourself. However, since those — to say nothing of reason — are doomed to fail, I will instead issue a warning, on behalf of a very large and determined segment of the American population:

We will eclipse your “work.”

If ego is the only place where you can be reached, then so be it. We will subsume your legacy so that in the future, your tenure will be seen as the mirror not just reflecting, but refracting every societal flaw we have allowed to fester by adopting an attitude of popular complacency.

It changes now.

You want to cut EPA funding and deny climate change? We will buy local, carpool, economize water, plant trees, and do everything else we can to protect our earth.

You want to allow discrimination under the guise of “religious liberty,” and obliterate the long-held separation of church and state? We will strive to approach every person we meet with a kinder heart and a more open mind. We will support our LGBTQ friends and family more than ever.

You want to consider mental illness and sexual assault, and countless other uncontrollable conditions “pre-existing?” We will find ways to create support. We will run the hell out of those cystic fibrosis/breast cancer/lupus/diabetes 5ks.

You want to twist facts and churn out propaganda? We will delve past spin and clickbait to learn, and operate from, a place of truth.

We will skip our naps. We will write and call and messenger-pigeon our representatives. We will not let our consciences become complacent. We will fight peaceably and with compassion. But we will fight, ceaselessly.

We cordially invite you not to fuck with us.