Zephyr

Today the real journey begins. Leg one of the Zephyr which was my original impetus for this trip. I read a small article written at least ten years ago in a publication long forgotten. It was entitled ‘Great Train Journeys across America”

When I mentioned this to American friends the most common response was along the lines of ‘Train? Why do you want to take the train? No one does that and Amtrak’s dreadful’. Clearly not that many Americans travel regularly by train and certainly none of those people I spoke to have done this journey.

Relatively, and certainly in comparison to UK trains — I am more than impressed. We had booked a Superliner Roomette which means that we have our own two seater compartment which turns into a bunk bed.

In Chicago after checking our luggage in which is a similar process to an airport, we then spend a very pleasant hour in a brand new Executive Lounge with free nibbles and wine and magazines etc.

The train is huge, on two levels and our room is upstairs, clean, comfortable, well equipped and leaves to the dot of 2pm as promised. The Guard in charge is somewhat of a wag and enjoys making witty and frequent announcements on the intercom such as ‘Hellooooooooooo Y’all, my name is Roland’ etc .

As we go through the suburbs of Chicago the scenery is flat but mostly green with a selection of neighbourhoods ranging from mobile homes to grand three storey affairs with swimming pools.

On the Upper level of our train there are viewing carriages with large picture windows both sides and curved windows for viewing the mountains later on in the trip which arch up to the roof.

The dining arrangements are extremely efficient with bookings taken for a specific time in a carriage that wouldn’t look out of place in a London restaurant and all included in our ticket.

After about two hours the scenery becomes more exciting with wide open skies and great plains ;which remind me of Little House on the Prairie — I half expect Laura Ingles to come scampering over the vista, pinafored and buck toothed waving at us with a hanky…she doesn’t but Roland does come over the intercom with ‘Goooooooooood evening……’ and a particularly alarming woman with straight blonde hair and an even perfect curl at the end and a ten out of ten deranged smile for no reason at all….has just walked through the observation car. Believe me Im going to be observing her.

On another note and moving towards the gynaecological husbandry — never buy what looks like Tampax from the US but is in fact a cheap imitation unless you enjoy the idea of shoving a jumbo sized toblerone with the almonds and nougat on the outside, up your front bottom. Now, liberal minded though I am, no amount of amyl nitrate would make the experience either pleasurable or easy. Before you ask — Yes I clearly am a freak of nature.

In Iowa now..