Men and Their Fragile, Insecure Egos
Most of the books on dating for women and the advice men offer are mainly about how to date men to boost their fragile egos and to give them what they want at your expense.
Just reading a few dating books for women I realize how fragile, insecure, and demanding men are. The advice presented in those books is often very tricky. So, be careful how you date men. If you don’t have what they need to feed their ego, you better move on.
But, to make sure I don’t offend all men, in this article I’m talking about the guys who brag about the number of women they “seduced,” (but never actually satisfied.) When I meet guys who brag about how many women they dated or f***, I pity them. They think they’re cool, but they're just insecure enough to use women to feed their fragile egos.
You should always avoid men who say the following two things:
1. If a man says that he doesn’t care about a woman’s accomplishments/degree /money/career, it’s because that woman can’t help him boost his fragile ego.
If you’re his equal, he doesn’t have reasons to feel superior.
All over the internet, I see guys who say that they don’t care how much money a woman makes or if she has a career. They say they only care about women’s looks and character. This is all bullsh*t. These guys are the ones who still believe in the “alpha male” myth. They want power, control, and to feel superior; thus they only seek to marry a woman who will be a stay-at-home wife/mother and that’s it. Here’s why I think this.
The other day I was reading a book written by Bruce Bryans called Never Chase Men Again. And in it, Bruce admits that he once dated a young lady who had an obsession for politics.
The problem was that he was dating her while he was at the tail end of his casual dating phase, so he was actually looking for someone he could see himself marrying someday. Thus, he dumped that woman because “even with all the chemistry, there was a strong lack of compatibility. She was studying to be a lawyer and someday saw herself running for office. A wife in office was not something I fancied for my future. So naturally, because things had seemed to be going well she wanted to know why I wanted to call things off. Of course, I was honest and told her why. She proceeded to make promises claiming that she wasn’t that interested in running for office or that law and politics weren’t that important to her and that she could give them all up to be with me.”
“A wife in office was not something I fancied for my future” upsets me for two reasons: 1) men still want a wife who stays at home, and 2) because of what the majority of men want, women are willing to give up their careers in order to marry.
Women should not give up their identity/independence. Never. Men should try to be more flexible. Men should see women as their equal, someone who also wants to work in an office and have their own money.
But apparently, men still want traditional wives: a woman who cooks, cleans, does the laundry, has a smile on her face, and is ready to “nurture” him when he gets home from work. More importantly, men prefer housewives “because they want the joy and pride of being the main breadwinner and getting the appreciation from the family.” This screams an unhealthy strategy for boosting their ego.
But this isn’t all. Bruce also says that when the lady he was dating tried to convince him that she would change this aspect about her life, he saw her even more unattractive because it didn’t seem as if she valued her own interests enough. Bruce saw only his interest. He didn’t think of that girl and that there are many others like her — brilliant and independent.
I bet Bruce wasn’t the only guy who saw her career aspirations as an impediment to marriage. Sadly, that young lady was willing to give up her interests just to have a chance at marriage.
Thus, I agree with Jennifer Wright “In 2022, for families to thrive, husbands may need to start supporting their wives’ careers the way wives have supported their husbands’ for generations. Women aren’t going to go backwards. If men want relationships to last, they’ll have to go forward into the 21st century.”
Men complain that more and more women file for divorce or give up the idea of marriage and they innocently ask why. It is statistically proven that men benefit more from marriage than women; married men’s careers also benefit more than married women.
Thus, a woman’s degree/career/money will matter to the man who wants a housewife. Maybe you’re okay with being a housewife, but many women accept this role thinking it will also benefit them, but it will not.
2. If a man says that he likes a woman who is a challenge, who is hard to get, and who lets him chase her, it’s because he wants a woman who can feed his ego.
Indeed, a hard-to-get woman appears to be a desirable challenge to some men. A woman can make herself seem more desirable if she lets a man put some effort into pursuing her.
Some men want a woman who has high standards and who presents herself as a worthy companion, but others want a challenging woman just to boost their ego and to feel they accomplished something once they get her.
Most men who are insecure turn dating into a hunting game just to have a boost of confidence once they get their “hard-to-get prey.”
Contrary, they often get annoyed and give up on those women who are sincere enough to admit their interests early on. Meaning that if a woman admits she wants a serious relationship with him, most likely, because he wants a challenge, will perceive that woman as desperate or too needy and he will dump her.
Men are encouraged to date for fun, to try more women at a time if they want to feel like a man. But they don’t want to date women they easily get access to; it’s not that satisfying. So, most want women to make it hard for them as it feels more rewarding in the end.
For those reasons, you should never fall into this trap: play hard to get for man. Hard-to-get behaviors only help insecure people achieve their nasty goals.
Thus, next time when you meet a man, don’t give him the opportunity to feed his ego by trying to be hard to get. Present your interests and if he’s not interested in you, move on.
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