“What are thoooseee? -Me when I googled British food

A little bit of a different post today; part one of a two parter. I found all these interesting traditional British foods on the internet, so I’m going to harshly judge them by appearance first, then I’ll get back to you when I force myself to eat them. Make sure you’re not eating anything when you read this, or you will for sure vomit.


  1. Black Pudding
This looks like that time I burnt Pillsbury Dough cookies in the oven.

This is truly the stuff of nightmares. If I’m not mistaken, it’s literally a sausage made from oatmeal, pork fat, and blood. This is narsty on all levels, but I’m strangely intrigued. Why is it black? What does it taste like? Will eating one trigger a desperate need for human blood? I’m actually willing to try this one.

2. Scotch Egg

Anything deep fried can’t be that bad. Right?

I was really excited when I heard the name of this one because it reminded me of those gross Easter eggs with the yellow cream inside. This is not the gross egg of my nightmares! A Scotch is egg is basically a hard boiled egg wrapped in sausage, coated in breadcrumbs and then deep fried. Actually, this sounds absolutely delicious.

3. Mushy Peas

I honestly just feel so bad for these peas.

This dish is honestly just sad. Like, peas are delicious and perfect little round balls of awesome. Why would you mash them up? Actually, it looks like when a bird chews up food then regurgitates it and feeds it to their babies. The Brits probably thought it would be good to save me the time and effort of chewing them. I guess that’s pretty nice. I think these come with every British meal under the sun (rain), so I will most likely be eating them.

4. Haggis

Nice presentation tbh

Now, if this isn’t the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen, you’re lying. However, I will almost definitely eat this because it is the food of my people. Haggis is a pudding (what is with the UK and pudding, like okay) containing sheep pluck (heart, liver, lungs), onion, oatmeal, and spices which is traditionally encased in a sheep’s stomach. Like, why?

5. Spotted Dick

“Microwaveable!”

Despite the very misleading name, this is in fact not diseased genitalia, but a pudding made with raisins. The reason they decided to call it this is beyond me. This is also where I draw the line. I can deal with a gross name. I can deal with a disgusting picture. But I refuse to believe that anything made with raisins (satan’s gift to the world) could be good. Just no.


So yes, please follow me on this delicious culinary adventure where someone will force feed me (fear factor style) these scary foods. I’ll let you know if you can actually eat anything in Britain. Cheerio!

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