From Playdates to Date Nights: Finding Time for Love After Divorce
Love and Lullabies: My Dumpster Dive into Post-Divorce Dating
It’s been two years since my divorce and the thought of dating again feels like trying to ride a unicycle while juggling flaming torches. Who am I now? How do I dress? And seriously, what should I do with this mess on top of my head?
As it stands now, my independence is my crown and my kids are my kingdom. I’m the kind of woman who can manage a work crisis while simultaneously negotiating bedtime with a couple of tiny dictators.
But dating? That’s a different battlefield altogether. It’s like entering a warzone with nothing but a half-charged phone and a pocketful of Cheerios.
My Wardrobe is Grown Up Pajamas
First off, let’s talk about my wardrobe. I’ve spent the last couple of years in a uniform of practicality: think yoga pants and coffee-stained tees. So what’s the new dating attire? Power suits to scare off the weak or flirty dresses that scream “I still got it”?
I decide on a mix — a look that says: “I’m confident, I’m casual but could still crush you at Scrabble.”
My Hair Looks Like Too Many Supercuts
And then there’s the hair. Oh, the hair. The post-divorce years have been hard on my locks. I have a wild, rebellious mane that seems to have a mind of its own. When working, I pull it back (like seen in my profile pix) but at home, I look like Medusa on crack.
Should I tame my hair into submission or let it symbolize my untamed spirit? A quick visit to my local Montreal stylist results in a look that’s both manageable and full of personality — just like me. I pick up some hair product while I’m there so I can maintain the look. No ponytails for a week!
Bumble Be Scary
Dating apps are the next challenge. My thumb hovers over the download button for Tinder, Bumble and all those other apps that sound like they belong in a beekeeper’s handbook.
Swiping through profiles feels like a sad and bizarre game show. Swipe left for “Are you serious with that shirt?” and swipe right for “You’re cute but are you ready for the chaos that is my life?”
I try to dive in with my characteristic irreverence but its hard and a bit discouraging. My profile is honest and hilarious (in my humble opinion), mentioning my love for sarcasm, my kids and my disdain for nonsense. But nobody else’s profile piques my interest.
Partner in Crime Whose Got No Time
Listen, I’m not looking for a knight in shining armor — I’m looking for a partner in crime, someone who can appreciate my independence and laugh at my terrible puns.
I’m super busy as well so they’d have to jump on board when I have a last minute opening. With that said, I want them to have an independent life too so I don’t want them to have too much time available, you know?
So drumroll…my first date is tomorrow night.
This was set up by a mutual friend who thinks we would be a “great match.” She recently divorced so I’m not sure about her relationship radar these days, but what the hell…I’ll give it a try.
I’m filled with a combo of nerves and excitement. I will sport my new, confident hairstyle that still maintains its wild side. I will wear my “combo dress” that is clean-cut yet cute. And I will try.
Because well…it’s time to crack open that heart of mine. Life is short. I’m getting older. If it doesn’t work, I’ll also be okay with that too. At the least, we’ll grab a bite at a local cafe, get a drink or two and chat.
At the most, well…I don’t know what that means yet. But I’m willing to find out.
