5 Places to Go Apple Picking That Are Perfect for Confronting Josh About Those Texts With His Ex
It’s hard to be in a rocky relationship during autumn; it’s peak Instagram couple season. Pumpkin patches, apple orchards, trees of all colors — the opportunities are too good to worry about silly things like arguments or infidelity. Best to stick it out until after Christmas, once you’ve both eaten so much pie that you’re no longer appealing to each other anyway. But let’s just say you can’t wait until January, let’s just imagine a completely fake scenario in which you look at Josh’s phone last night while he was showering and you saw texts from his that basic bitch Trish on his phone. Hypothetically, that is.
Well you’re in luck, because we’ve rounded up the best apple orchards to snag that Instagram photo AND confront him in public!
1. Rocky’s Apple Orchard and Fright Fest
Get those pics in first in the orchard and then head to the haunted house section where you can promptly begin yelling at Josh and then run away from him. He’ll have time alone with his thoughts as he is left to navigate the haunted house alone; a perfect analogy for what his life would be like without you.
2. Apple Orchard Labyrinth
Again, first things first are the pics, then you head into the labyrinth. Ask him why he’s texting Trish again, then disappear around a corner of the maze, leaving him to find his own way out. If he picks the right path, you’ll be waiting at the end and can think about forgiving him. But if he’s too fucking stupid and has to go back to the beginning, it’s over.
3. Paul’s Pumpkin Patch and Carnival
Pics with the pumpkins, then get on the Ferris wheel and start rocking your car vigorously until he explains himself. He’s afraid of heights, so save the peak shaking for the top.