I’m always surprised and saddened to hear so many women talk about being afraid or unable to prioritize their own pleasure and comfort during sex.
When I was 17 I checked out an instruction book on women’s orgasms from the library and taught myself how to orgasm, and learned to teach my partners how to help me get there. I have absolutely no shame about asking for what I need in this arena. And while I value my partner’s pleasure and ask them what they want and need, I don’t feel the need to have them climax for my own ego. I know I’m in the minority on both counts.
I think adolescent girls and young women need to be encouraged to anchor themselves in their own body and senses. They need to internalize the idea that sex is as much they’re experience as it is their partner’s.
It often takes time to get in sync with a new lover, and that’s okay. But if a guy won’t prioritize your pleasure and isn’t willing to put in the effort to make sure you’re having a good time, it’s time to move on and not look back.
