Chapstick Lesbian
Chapstick lesbian
An “in-betweeny” lesbian. Neither identifies as butch or femme, usually in between. A lesbian who wears chapstick, not lipstick. Might also go by: Stem.
Thanks Divamag.
Within the community of queer woman, there is an extensive list of terms for the “types” of lesbians. Two of which are “lipstick” and “butch”. Butch lesbians can be seen from a mile away while lipsticks reveal their “lesbianness” in a conversation, public interaction with a lover, or by their undercut. Of course, these are all superficial assumptions that no one should ever make, but I cannot deny the constant gaydar installed in my head. Growing up, I assumed that all lesbians cut their hair short, wear androgynous clothing, and speak at a lower octave, and therefore I closely associated appearance and sexuality. How could I possibly be gay if I wear feminine clothing and have always done feminine things? How could I possibly be straight if I wear masculine clothing and do masculine things?
Like many, I am neither lipstick nor butch. I am me, and that has taken far too long to comprehend. Because I associate appearance and sexuality, and my emotions and fluid identity are often reflected in my clothing, my style is somewhat conflicted. Every morning is a question of identity. I catch myself asking myself who I am today. I change at least twice before leaving the house every morning, tossing clothing on the floor in frustration. Skirt, dress, pants, flannel. I try it all on until it fits my mood. (This is probably why I am so fond of my “chapstick lesbian” overalls.)
I have always told anonymous that girls do not dress to impress. However lately, I have found myself wanting to wear more androgynous or stereotypical lesbian styles to send some kind of lesbian “bat signal in the sky”(Joy Young). I often feel hidden from the LGBTQ+ community, because I do not fit the stereotype. It is why I feel so jittery and rewarded when I am recognized by queer women on the streets. It was ‘The Queer Hokey-Pokey’ when I realized I was not alone in this urge to be recognized by the community.
During my journey to coming out to myself, I often attempted to draw symbols of my feminine and masculine selves. Now, I realize why I struggled to get to the place I am. Though I recognized that being feminine and identifying as lesbian were two completely different things, I could not do it for myself. I viewed my button ups as my gay self and my dresses as my “straight” self. I split myself in half based on how others recognized me and how I could fit into the community.
