Finding a Voice You Can Hear


verb

1. express (something) in words.

noun

  1. the sound produced in a person’s larynx and uttered through the mouth, as speech or song.

(Thanks Google.)


In my blog introduction, I kicked the label “the quiet one” to the curb. Though people have titled me so, I beg to differ. In fact, I am the loudest person I know.

After my Saturday morning class, I pursue a lone adventure, a treat to myself for sitting restlessly at a crammed desk for about three hours. I put my headphones in, tap play on CocoRosie, and walk in a straight line from SoHo towards the unknown. I turn up the volume as loud as possible and double check that the general public cannot hear the music. Can you imagine if they heard what I am I listening to and look at me? What if they see me?

I stare at everyone who passes me and everyone I pass. Thoughts flood through my mind about who they might be, what is in their closet, what music they are listening to, where they are going, etc.. There is absolutely no chance of avoiding eye contact and having these thoughts. There is no escape. It is upright exhausting. From the moment I wake, I see. It is why I speak through art, and more specifically, portraiture. Falling in love with how the lighting hits his or her body or clothing, the shapes of people’s features and how they move, their flaws, the undertones of his or her skin, or how the fabric creases behind their knee is something that occurs constantly and it is LOUD.

Those who refer to me as quiet do not have the equivalent definition of quiet as i do, so I have been on a search to find a voice you can hear. I watch and listen to those who use their vocal chords as a voice, and find it absolutely fascinating. How he or she feels when doing it is such a stranger. Frankly, conversations, singing, and playing music has never felt like a form of expression or release. My natural will to prove people wrong remains strong. So, without further ado, I introduce to myself the one and only, guitar. Let’s see how that goes.


Please give CocoRosie a chance. They are not for everyone, but their music videos are undeniably unique and mesmerizing. If you do not enjoy one, go to the next, because the songs are pretty different from one another.

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