Disconnected

When I go to the beach I try to take it all in, you know? I try to stop, and breathe, and soak up the rays of sun. I listen to the sounds of the waves crashing and the distant laughter of the other people who chose to dedicate their day to this soul healing place. My favorite thing in the world, like all time favorite thing, is when the sunlight hits the surface of water and it sparkles. The light dances on the surface and gives you hope, not like the kind of hope you want, but the kind of hope you need at that moment. The beach has this smell too, the salt in the ocean mixed with the fresh air breeze that rolls off each wave, and just like that I feel all my worries just kind of evaporate into the air like the water on your skin on a hot summer day.

I love those kinds of days, you know, the one’s where you promise yourself you’re going to disconnect. It’s much easier said than done though, and that day at the beach was what I really needed, and I wanted to remember it so I took out my phone. After a few pictures, and a snapchat or two, I didn’t feel how I felt a paragraph ago. I suddenly got sucked back into the vortex of my own problems, I felt myself wanting to check all my social media platforms, and see if the text I was waiting for had arrived. I let myself get sucked right back in, and that’s the hardest part about disconnecting.

Once you give yourself the freedom to disconnect, that’s when you’re really living your reality. We are all constantly living among each other’s social platforms. We’re constantly texting, updating status’s, reading badly written articles about ‘millienials in relationships’ (not saying my writing is any bettter), we’re checking instagram, twitter, facebook, and for what? So we can ‘like’ it? Gossip about it? Or the most immediate and unknowing reaction, so we can compare our ‘friends’ lives to our own? Someone once told me comparison prevents happiness, and the older I get the more true that statement becomes.

Things I see on social media make me think about my life, who has it better, who has it worse, who’s doing what, who’s going where… but in the end, who fucking cares? I’m so much happier when I turn off the notifications and consume myself in other things that make me feel genuine feelings and not feelings that come from comparing.

Tonight I’m going to a rooftop bar. Not the same feeling as the beach but I’ll be disconnected. I’ll be enjoying the company of good friends and hearing about their embarrassing stories, and our favorite tv shows, we won’t be alone comparing our lives through screens, we’ll be interacting and disconnecting. I want to stand on that rooftop and let the sunset consume me, I want the breeze to make me feel alive, and I want my phone to be on silent so I can just… live in the moment.

Why are we living lives watching screens? We should be living lives engaging with the world around us.