Little Annoying Things

When People (Males) Actively Use Social Media (via their phones) While Simultaneously Ignoring Your Text 

Many of you already know how I feel about romantic relationships and texting (http://bit.ly/1lwXkWt, http://bit.ly/1nMPOF3, http://bit.ly/1iNCvH0). (See how I had a smooth introductory line there and also worked in some self promotion? #APenglish2008). For those of you who are too lazy to click on the above links or have not heard one of my roughly 10,000 real-life rants about texting and dating, I’ll summarize it for you real quick; I HATE TEXTING. When it comes to dating, that is. With friends, foes, family, etc., I obviously text because I’m not a plastic gnome. But when it comes to interacting with potential romantic interests or boyfriends/girlfriends, I LOATHE texting. Hate hate hate, double hate, loathe entirely (anyone who understood that Grinch reference, you are now my best friend). It messes up relationships, it causes unthinkable anxiety, it’s stupid, it’s dumb, I hate it, JUST CALL ME. SO, now that we’ve established my feelings, let me transition into today’s topic: Gentlemen who will ignore your text and then immediately update their social media profiles via their phone. The only conclusion I can come to regarding this behavior is the sheer stupidity of the little boys we love to love. Men can have a lot of really great qualities. They can reach things on high shelves, set up your new bed frame for you, and give you their jacket when you’re cold. But ladies, I’m here to tell you, that DAMN dem men can be REAL DUMB canigettahallelujah #amen! I’m convinced that they truly, truly believe that when they ignore your text message or phone call while simultaneously updating their Facebook from their phone you won’t notice. This is Criminal Texting 101 here, fellas. It’s Intro to Criminal Texting 101. It’s in the orientation for Intro to Criminal Texting 101. If you’re going to pretend you haven’t read my text yet, don’t use your phone to update social media while doing so. Nothing gets my blood boiling like sitting around waiting for you to respond to my super interesting and thought provoking text and seeing you all over the web, Facebookin’, Tweetin’, Grammin’ and Tumblin’. And don’t you DARE send me a snapchat if you haven’t texted me back yet. You may as well just slap me across the face. Facebook has this really groovy setting where it will say “via IOS” if you post something on your page from your iPhone. Yes, I do know that “IOS” is referring to your iPhone. Do YOU know that? This handy little setting shows me that, hey, you just used your phone, you have it on you, and you’re actively using it! So when you say, “hey, sorry my phone died,” I’m going to have a tough time believing you, just from a purely logical standpoint. And when you say, “Sorry, just woke up,” I may get the inkling that maybe you didn’t just wake up when I see that you shared an Instagram photo on Facebook about 45 minutes ago. Remember that time you had me follow you on all social media? Yeah, you may have wanted to think into the future a little bit on that one there, buddy. I once had a guy tell me his phone had been “run over by a car” on a weekend during which he had posted 3 Instagram pictures. This was before Instagram had a website, too. But you know what, I bet somebody totally just hacked his Instagram account over the weekend, omg, so weird right, he totally wasn’t blowing me off or lying at all! In this particular scenario, I was more insulted by the insinuation that I was really that stupid than I was by the idea that the fact that this guy was pulling the old disappearing act. I know I’m rambling, but I’m very passionate about this topic. I’ll try to draw to a close here by saying this: Fellas, like it or not, texting has become a large part of dating. And texting, like any human conversation, comes with some pretty logical courtesy rules. One of those is to respond to a person when you’re in the middle of a conversation. If you were conversing with a person face to face and they said, “it was good, how was your weekend?” you wouldn’t just walk away without saying a word, would you? No. Cause that would make you look dumb and rude. Not much changes when that conversation is transferred over to texting. Like I’ve said many, many times before, any lie you tell about not having your phone for an extended period of time is most likely complete bullshit because, look around you, EVERYONE has their phone all the time. It’s just the way it is. If you’re going to ignore us, blow us off, leave us hanging for hours, then at least have the decency and intelligence not like one of our Instagram photos and then claim you didn’t get back to us sooner because you just “had really bad service.”