Squirting is Peeing

But, this fact upsets people, so they have declared it false on emotional grounds

So, some like, study came out that said squirting was pee. It seemed pretty conclusive to me; scientists did an ultrasound on women’s bladders during sex, found they were filling up, then did an ultrasound on their bladders after they squirted and found the bladders had been emptied. Sure sounds like all that fluid came out of the bladder, yeah?

In the pee, they did find some substance that was also female ejaculate, so like… women do ejaculate something that’s not pee as well. They just don’t gush huge amounts of it. When women squirt huge amounts, it’s seems like it’s mostly pee with some ejaculate. Some women ejaculate less, and maybe that’s just ejaculate and not pee.

Quick aside — who cares if it’s pee? It’s not like pee hurts you. I’ve dated women who squirted large amounts, and I guess I ended up completely covered in their pee, but I’m no worse for wear. Additionally, it seems like it’s involuntary for a lot of women, so shaming them for “peeing” would make you the worst sex partner ever. So… it’s not as if understanding the nature of squirting should actually change anything.

But… what really interests me about all this, is people’s compulsion to deny facts they don’t like. For instance, this article in response to the study claims that “squirting is not the same thing as pee!”

Ok.

To claim that squirting is not pee, you’re going to have to explain why in this French study, 7 out of 7 women had a full bladder before squirting, and an empty bladder after squirting. Go!

The French study the website wrote about only included seven participants, so it’s not exactly a representative sample size, and even the study concludes the prostate-specific antigen was present in five out of the seven post-squirting samples while it was not present in the before-squirting sample. This still makes female ejaculation different from urine, even if their study was not in agreement with other studies on the amount and types of chemicals all present in female ejaculate.

Ok — so, the sample size thing. This is like, an intellectually lazy argument because she’s relying on the fact that in many cases, a sample size of 7 would be way too small. However, this was an exploratory study trying to find the origin of something that no one else had a better explanation for. It’s different than testing the effectiveness of a drug vs placebo on a large population. For instance, let’s say you were studying the anatomy of a new animal you’d never encountered before, and you did an ultrasound of 7 of the animals, and found they all have an organ in the lower, left portion of their torso. You’d conclude that this type of animal usually has an organ in the lower left part of their torso. Because no one else has done these types of ultrasounds to see where the fluid was coming from, and since we have no better suggestion for where it could come from, it seems reasonable to conclude that it sure looks like it’s coming from the bladder. No one else has found a gland large enough to contain the volumes of fluid in question.

I will grant the author that the scientists only tested women who squirted large amounts, so it’s possible that some women who squirt less don’t have urine in their ejaculate. The urine thing may only apply to voluminous squirters. But… it sure looks like women who are squirting a lot are squirting mostly pee.

The author also uses an intellectual slight of hand to say “[E]ven the study concludes the prostate-specific antigen was present in five out of the seven post-squirting samples while it was not present in the before-squirting sample. This still makes female ejaculation different from urine.” Uhhh… a mix of 98% urine and 2% female ejaculate is still mostly urine. However, check out the rhetorical tactic she’s using to confuse you here. She continues to call the substance women are squirting “female ejaculate” and is labelling the whole urine/ejaculate combination as “ejaculate.” She is declaring that the presence of trace amounts ejaculate means that this entire substance cannot be urine while ignoring the fairly obvious conclusion that there may be a little ejaculate in the urine.

Truthfully, I’m finding it hard to counter her point by point here, because she is being intentionally obtuse to obfuscate the inadequacy of her argument.

She goes on:

Female ejaculate could possibly be the fluid urine mostly consists of, but it doesn’t make it pee. Seems these scientist’s theories are just that — theories, a long way from fact.

So… this is vaguely interesting, for like, 2 seconds. Ok, it’s possible that the female body produces some substance that is in both ejaculate and pee, but now we’re getting into “how do we define pee?” Is everything that comes from the bladder pee? Because… I’m pretty inclined to say everything that comes out of the bladder is pee. She completely ignores the fact that the researchers found that the fluid was coming out of the bladder. Also, if pee in women is mostly made up by “female ejaculate” why is it so similar to the pee of men, who don’t have female (or male) ejaculate in their pee?

I don’t really see how you can say that something that comes from the bladder and basically has the composition of regular pee (with the addition of a small amount of other substances) is not mostly pee.

Additionally, to create the appearance of authority, she gives you many links to check out. She has one link she claims is from “Colombia Health” which is actually an “Ask Alice” column that pre-dates the study in question by more than a year. She also cites a story from Psychology Today, one study that’s a broken link, and one study with a sample size of two. Funny how a sample size of 7 is “not representative” when it goes against your beliefs, but a sample size of 2 is just fine when it supports your beliefs.

Her final study does note that there are compositional differences in pre-coital urine and whatever it is women are squirting. They note there is “less creatinine” in the squirt, but more of the antigens associated with ejaculate. We’ve already discussed how women are probably squirting a mix of pee and ejaculate explaining why the “ejaculate antigens” are present. What remains is the “less creatinine” which — I think — probably boils down to, the pre-sex urine is more concentrated because the women probably hadn’t peed in a few hours. All the urine collected during the squirt had been created over the, like, 30 minute sex session, which is less time for the kidneys to produce creatinine (creatinine is a waste product kidneys filter out of the blood and expel in urine) so there was less of it in the pee. There may be some interesting questions here — do women produce more pee during sex? If so, why? — but I really saw absolutely nothing in this article to contradict the information that most of this fluid is coming from the bladder.

Anyway, she leaves off with a “we don’t really know the answer” without even touching on the topic of the French ultrasounds of the bladder because of course she wouldn’t because it’s the most damaging part to her argument. Finally, she ends with a long discussion of how studies like this are “bad” because they are an attempt to shame women about sexual pleasure.

While we can debate the exact makeup of female ejaculation, the real problem with this latest study is not even its accuracy or if other sources are inaccurate, it’s how the discussion adversely affects female sexuality. It seems like another attempt to make women feel ashamed or embarrassed of their sexuality. Even if it’s similar in composition to pee (it’s not exactly the same — ALL studies are confirming that), a squirting orgasm is one of the best orgasms a woman can have.

You know what I think is bad? You know what *I* think really tells women that their sexuality is wrong, or shameful, or disgusting?

WHEN YOU COMPEL THEM TO LIE ABOUT IT

So some women pee during sex. GET OVER IT. Pretending that it’s not really pee when actually it is is shaming women who suspect the truth. A lot of women pee a little more than is socially acknowledged. Some women pee when they laugh too hard, some pee when they lift weights, some pee a little when they run. It’s nbd. It happens more often to women because people without penises have less tubing coming from their bladder (so pee comes out faster) and some women get a little damage in childbirth that doesn’t fully heal. And, women who are on the I pee a little when I sneeze end of the spectrum AND ejaculate a lot are probably suspecting to themselves maybe what comes out of me during sex is pee.

And, when you go NO NO NO, IT’S NOT PEE you’re telling those women that what they’re doing in bed is shameful. That they’re bad, that they must keep lying to themselves and their partners about what’s going on. When you FREAK OUT about the idea that female ejaculate could be pee, you are sex shaming women. If women are peeing during sex, and this it not socially acceptable, we must change what is socially acceptable. We must not insist that women lie about the mechanics of their own bodies to make their sex partners more comfortable.

Here’s the thing; anyone who sleeps with women needs to accept they might get peed on. Pee is pretty fucking sterile, it’s not going to hurt you, and this pee/ejaculate thing has been going on for ages. There may even be some weird evolutionary reason for it. But, pretending that pee is not pee doesn’t liberate women. It doesn’t lead to the acceptance of female sexuality; au contraire, it continues to relegate it to the shadows by perpetuating misinformation.

Additionally, check out this final gross line: “a squirting orgasm is one of the best orgasms a woman can have.”

Look, I know women who squirt without orgasming. This is the other part of this whole nasty debate; we have encouraged a mythology that a “squirting” orgasm is the “best” orgasm with no nuance around the issue. People like to imagine that “a woman orgasmed so hard she squirted” but that doesn’t fit with my experience of female sexuality. If that were true, how could women squirt without an orgasming? I’ve come to the conclusion that squirting and orgasming are sort of separate things. I don’t deny that many women claim their orgasms are enhanced by squirting, but many seem to not feel that way also. I know women whose partners told them they were squirting, but didn’t even realize they were themselves. Additionally, for some non-squirters, researchers found that same “female ejaculate” substance in their urine when they peed after sex. It’s possible that some women squirt inwardly and we don’t see a big outward squirt, but they’re having similarly intense orgasms.

So, why are we so obsessed with the squirt?

Well, probably because it looks a lot like a male orgasm. Men want women to remind them of themselves during sex because it’s easier to relate to, and many women value their own pleasure only in so far that it turns men on. Many women seem to want to squirt to please their male partner — I’ve read so many sad versions of the question “My guy is turned on by squirting, how can I learn to squirt?” Additionally, it is within the best interest of straight women who squirt a lot to encourage this mythology (“it’s not pee,” “it’s so much better than a dry orgasm,” etc.) because it makes them more attractive to male partners. I have found lesbians, who are looking to attract other women, are often more nuanced in their descriptions of squirting. Yes, they tend to enjoy their squirting, but they don’t use it to delegitimize other women’s pleasure.

Anyhow. Obviously, if you’re a squirter, keep doing your squirting thing. And, I’m sorry if anyone feels bad that women who squirt a lot are likely peeing. I may be wrong, I’m not flawless, but if it is true that women squirt pee, we just need to accept that’s a thing some women do. It’s fine. And, for whatever it’s worth, if you pee before sex, the pee you squirt will probably be half a step away from water anyway because your body hasn’t had time to fill it with creatinine. The female ejaculate I’ve smelled doesn’t smell very much. So, don’t stress out about it. And, for women who don’t ejaculate,or don’t orgasm, or whatever don’t stress about it either. It’s possible you are releasing ejaculate in small enough volumes you don’t notice, or that it’s all happening internally. And finally, as one of my friends who has slept with over one thousand people told me, the orgasm isn’t the end all be all of sex. There is a lot of pleasure, and connection, and love to be had regardless of whatever the hell is happening with your orgasmicality.

Go out and be your special snowflake self, and don’t worry about the haters.