The redness in my eyes indicates the evil that lies within

Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Me

And Mostly Likely Didn’t Care to Know

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde
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I really like clever quotes, especially ones that make me laugh. This isn’t one of the ten things that people don’t know about me. I’m just telling you.
I wish I could say something clever enough to quote, but the odds are not looking good!

1. Usually before I write, I sit for an hour and listen to the same song over and over again. My mind moves quicker and in twisty directions when I hear music. There is almost always some aspect of the song that comes through in the story. For awhile, it was Color-Blind by Counting Crows, then Angels by Sam Baker and of course, Guaranteed by Eddie Vedder. Currently I’m stuck on a song by The Arctic Monkeys, although obviously this has inspired nothing. I realize this is weird, but I think it’s hereditary! My daughter does the same thing. This fact gives me great pleasure
2. I watched TV with my kids. At one point I could have held a college seminar on the subtle nuances of Barney, Little bear and Dragon Tales. Now, when we are together, The Office is the thing we watch. Truthfully, I still miss Arthur.
3. Almost everything I’ve written that hasn’t been crap was done in under twenty minutes. I don’t know why it works this way. It just hits me and I sit down and sort of vomit it out. Although my favorite thing I have written is the story Satchel https://theweeklyknob.com/satchel-bc47e4ff7e16 which was printed in The Weekly Knob. (I don’t know how to make the link just the name. I am computer illiterate) That took a little longer, but it was about my son and my father, two of the best people I know. I’m not tooting my own horn, I write a lot of crappy things. But I really liked this.
4. My mom’s side of the family are incredibly sweet, rule abiding and non confrontational. My dad’s mom was a pistol (there are worse words for that) who said whatever she thought. I got the worst of both worlds. I blurt out all kinds of stuff that I shouldn’t and then feel horrible for days. (Or sometimes extremely embarrassed, even though I know I said what everyone was secretly thinking)
5. Almost everything I write has a small element of truth in it. It’s not always about me though. Sometimes I try to write from what I think would be someone else’s eyes. When my daughter was younger, she liked Taylor Swift. Everyone around me was making rude comments about poor Tay-Tay, bashing here for constantly writing songs about her boyfriend. I thought this was bullshit. She just was doing what writers do, taking a small piece of something she knew and crafting a story.
6. I like to do logic puzzles. I buy the books from Fruth pharmacy. The “John is behind Ruth but not next to Roger,” thing. One of my friends got the giggles when she found this out. She said that I reminded her of her 80-year-old grandmother.
7. I write like I talk. This is probably unfortunate for all concerned. I like to swear. Bad words make me laugh and I think it’s dumb to create word not to be said. This has benefitted my kids. They get in trouble for if they don’t remember to say, “Hello Mr. Sampson, how are you today?” but they don’t get any grief for saying “Are you fucking kidding me?”
8. I’m kind of shitty at editing my own stuff even though I used to an editor. Go figure.
9. When I was very young, I learned that peeing after you had to hold it for a long time and need to go really, really bad is…THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. Even better than sex. Strangely enough, everyone writes about sex and nobody ever writes about this.
10. If I could have any super power in the world, it would be the power to read minds. It’s the best one. You may think something else is better, but you’re wrong. Even if you were invisible, I could read your mind and know exactly where you were. Think about it. I would be all powerful and rule the world.

Terijo and hannah miller, thank you for tagging me! I don’t think I’m a great list maker, but it was a lot of fun.

I love reading stuff about other people—because I’m nosy. People jumping into my mind in this split second; A Maguire Ryan Bell Indira Reddy Annie Caldwell Todd Clayton Stuart Louise Foerster S Lynn Knight ~ 🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈 J M Jackson Stephen Leatherdale Stevie Adler Tre L. Loadholt Jack Preston King DiAmaya Dawn anna breslin God there is so many, this would take all night!!!! And I’m so sleepy…