Getting through the crap

So here I am, my first blog post (please be gentle with me). I am sat here right now wondering why am I doing this. I really am not sure at all I haven’t even chosen a theme for my blog home page nor do I have any clue how to use markdown software. The one thing going round in my mind is I have a story in my life I want to tell and I want to help others going through tough situations.

My story, well it's a long one and a little complicated so I'll save parts of it for other posts. Suffice to say I used to be someone living a life I wasn't happy in and by going through an extremely rough period of time in which I was determined the best revenge is being happy I am now myself, me, absolutely. I have spent most of the past decade finding out my own strength, fortitude and learning to love myself in the way everyone in the world should have the right to feel about themselves. I feel the pieces are finally coming together except in two areas of my life. My personal life leaves a lot to be desired, both romance and friendships (seriously it’s laughable how bad my romantic life is). However, my main focus right now is, and will be finances for the foreseeable future.

Things were going pretty well I thought until last week, I was turned down AGAIN by my mortgage provider in trying to remove my ex from my mortgage. This was a blow, a major blow to me and a surprise I really should have seen coming (it's actually embarrassing that I didn't see it coming). I have spent the past 5-6 years going back to school as a mature student/single mother to get a degree to enable a better paid full-time job in order to advance my career and increase my income. I actually thought I was doing well, I work a full-time job in which I am happy 99% of the time (will writing this blog provide the 1% required to get me to 100%?), said job pays considerably more than my pre-degree job. But still, adding to the reasons for the "not this time, sorry" is a big black hole of debt I have stupidly allowed to enter into my life. This, I have since come to realise is my biggest failing in my financial world. I have fully recovered emotionally from my divorce however it is clear I have not recovered financially. Even worse the "no" opened my eyes to the fact I am definitely further away from financial recovery than I had thought I would be by now.

How do I get out of my current predicament and gain financial independence for the first time ever? I do not have the answer, I know after licking my wounds for a while I decided my life needs to change, again. I'm also guessing things may get worse before they get better (not so cool but nothing good comes easy apparently). To start off I resolved to take some action on my longstanding aim to live more creatively by writing about my experiences (hoping to relieve some stress at the same time). My hope is to both document my progress and through the process of finding my way out of my current predicament it may help someone else in similar circumstances. Of course, I am secretly also hoping that along the way I may meet some likeminded, amazing people!

Until next time I am brave enough to write, keep going!

Emma May Fox

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