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I Time-Blocked My Entire Day; Turns Out 3 p.m. Is Perfect for an Existential Crisis
I started this week determined to become the sort of hyper-efficient cyborg who schedules hydration breaks and restroom visits with military precision. My inspiration was a YouTube guru who swears time-blocking is the Swiss-army knife of productivity. So I opened Google Calendar, gulped a double espresso, and carved my day into bright little rectangles that looked like a box of Froot Loops had exploded on my screen.
6:00 a.m. — Wake Up and Conquer Reality
My alarm rang, I conquered exactly nothing, and spent ten minutes arguing with Siri about how many times “five more minutes” can legally be requested before it becomes a lifestyle choice. Eventually I rolled out of bed, slapped “gratitude journaling” into my schedule, and promptly wrote, “I’m grateful gravity still works because otherwise I’d be floating face-down in regret.”
7:00 a.m. — Calisthenics and Cold Shower
The influencer said cold showers build grit. My shower knob said tepid drizzle is plenty, and I agreed. Calisthenics consisted of bending to pick up the shampoo I dropped twice. Still, I checked the block as “complete,” because time-blocking rewards optimism over honesty.
