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The 10 Narcissistic Commandments
Heathens! Know Thy Place — Beneath The Narcissist
Gather ‘round, mortals and sycophants, for it is time to learn the sacred text that governs the divine order of narcissism.
Prepare your minds (though obviously inferior to mine) to receive wisdom, so you may learn how to live your life in complete service to the one true god: me.
BEHOLD, the 10 Narcissistic Commandments, which I bestow upon you for your own good (and to remind you of my glory, obviously).
#1: Thou Shall Have No Other Person to Worship, Think About, or Adore than Me
This is the most important commandment, and really, if you can get this one right, the rest should fall into place. Your every waking moment should be consumed with thoughts of how absolutely fabulous I am.
If you find your mind wandering to other people, things, or, God forbid, your own aspirations, stop immediately.
Snap out of it.
You’ve failed.
