“One of them”: Sexism in the Time of Trump

Elmira Bayrasli
Jul 28, 2017 · 3 min read

“The truth is there has never been a President more sympathetic and done more for the LGBT community,” said the man seated next to me at dinner. Boisterous and bearded, he had spilled, by his own admission, a few drinks on himself. He also admitted that as the son of Russian emigres working for a Russian bank, he works for “Putin.”

Trump and the LGBT community. “BB” had a point. Trump isn’t an evangelical or a right wing Christian conservative. Why then was he doing their bidding, I asked?

“Let me educate you,” he said. Let the mansplaining begin.

“First, you need to calm down.” I was sipping a glass of rose.

“Trump’s position about transgenders in the military is the same one Obama held for 8 years.”

Wha?

“As an individual Trump cares about gays,” BB said.

“Trump isn’t an individual any more. He’s the President of the United States. And as the President, he is doing the bidding of the Christian conservatives,” I said.

“It’s not easy being president,” BB said.

“No, it’s not — the rest of us knew that. What I don’t understand is Trump promised to ‘drain the swamp’ — instead he’s become Pence’s puppet. The hypocrisy is stunning,” I said.

“You don’t understand,” BB started to raise his voice and get agitated. “America elected Trump precisely because people wanted to see ‘disruption’ in Washington. They didn’t vote for Ted Cruz or any of the other Tea Partiers.”

Wha?

“Right, so why is he doing Ted Cruz’s bidding?” I asked.

“He’s just following the advice of the generals,” BB said.

“Dunford refuted Trump’s statement, noting that there was no change in the Pentagon’s policy on transgenders serving in the military,” I said.

“Look, this isn’t about transgenders, it’s about health. People with diabetes aren’t allowed to serve in the military,” BB said.

“No, this is about Trump’s hypocrisy and the fact that he doesn’t have the first clue on how government works,” I said.

BB laughs. “Believe me he understands, he’s really smart.” I roll my eyes.

“You have to admit that Trump is really smart,” BB said. “No one gets to be POTUS if they’re not smart.”

“Trump is manipulative,” I said, “Not smart.” That set BB off.

Face red (like the Soviet flag!) Voice raised, he waved his finger in my face, “That is SUCH an incredibly ignorant thing to say. You are so stupid.”

Putting my wine glass down, “You start out this conversation telling me that I need to be educated. Then you tell me to calm down. Now you are saying that I’m stupid. Do you realize that you’re mansplaining?” I said.

“Don’t tell me you’re ‘one of THOSE people’,” BB said.

“I’m done with this conversation and am leaving,” I said. I turned to my host and said that I couldn’t stay for dinner in the face of such blatant sexism and overall all rude behavior. I did eventually stay, after my host asked BB to switch seats and asked him to apologize to me. But for the rest of the night, few people spoke to me. My host was the only exception. Everyone else ingratiated BB, hand slapping, high-fiving. “You’re so funny!” “I’m middle of the road.” “Everyone’s emotions are so high.”

He was “the man.”

And I was “one of them.”

Damn straight. Amen.

Elmira Bayrasli

Written by

CEO & Co-founder @fpinterrupted. Author of From the Other Side of the World: Extraordinary Entrepreneurs, Unlikely Places. Professor @Bard College

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