Rambling Thoughts of a Writer
There’s a weird thing that happens when you write. You end up deleting sentences, paragraphs, entire pages, over and over again. All because you think it’s not good enough. Who’s gonna read this? God, and if someone does they’re going to hate it, or judge it, or make fun of me. Writing is actually one of the hardest jobs in the media industry. Most of the time you second-guess everything you’re doing, everything you’re saying.
An anxiety bubbles up in your chest and your brain starts to work in overtime. What if I’m not good enough? What if my words don’t resonate with someone? What if I’m just screaming into the void? These questions plague most writers. I don’t think I’ve ever come across any writer who hasn’t felt insecure about their writing. Even the most confident ones have that little bit of fear in their eyes when they talk about their story idea, or when they ask you to read something.
No writer actually thinks they’re talented. Mostly because a lot of people who don’t write think it’s easy and make that thought very known. I don’t know how many people I’ve spoken to, when they ask me what I do, and I say write, scoff, roll their eyes and laugh a little. Like writing isn’t a profession. It’s just a past time, meant to fill the hours of my unemployed days.
I have the urge to delete everything already that’s been typed out on this page, but I’m resisting it. My finger keeps hovering over the delete button, but I keep telling myself that I’m writing for myself not for anyone else. If someone chooses to read this then that’s really great, and if they don’t, they don’t. Nothing will change.
I think all writers want is validation that their work means something to someone. To be able to touch someone with only words on a piece of paper, where tone isn’t heard, but interpreted. Being ale to move someone to tears, or make them belly laugh. Maybe even get a little smile. I think that’s one of the most rewarding things about being a writer. That and being paid, but I mean we can’t have it all.
I think I’ll end my little ramble here. It is my first post after all; so keeping it short and sweet may be the best way to go. Stay tuned for ramblings about TV shows, movies, representation in media, some bad jokes, and if you’re lucky a great amount of embarrassing stories. Cool? Cool.