How To Be As Happy As A Dancer.

What I’ve learned working with the world’s most famous precision dance group.

gary memi
8 min readJan 11, 2016

I don’t know much, but after observing dancers for most of my life as an outsider I do know that a happy dancer is one of the happiest people on earth. Why is this? And, more pointedly, how do we laymen and laywomen infuse the spirit of the dancer into our daily life? I’ve gathered a few basics that I’ve picked up along the way.

  • Namaste. We honor each other because we’re not perfect, but we’re always working on it.

It occurred to me that one of the things that prevents me from achieving a sense of satisfaction for more than half an hour is all the judgement. Judgement of others, judgement of myself. I have conditioned myself to believe that sustained satisfaction in life does not exist; basically, when I see sustained satisfaction in others, I am usually convinced that it’s a front. A corny, flaky, fake-saloon-front that doesn’t actually exist. Perhaps a survival mechanism that people use so as to not completely fall apart every second of the day — perhaps secretly falling apart in private. Well, maybe it is — but, a dancer knows that you don’t have a perfect yoga practice, the perfect diet, the perfect body image, schedule or job. But they say, “Namaste,” and keep it moving. They know what is inherently the truth to all great practices. It’s practice. So they are happy to bow to the divine in all of us. Because those that dance know that even in salutation form, bowing to those that are willing to let go and release their inhibitions on a dance floor, be they beginner or master, are worthy of admiration, judgement free.

  • Mind/Body. Live in that moment.

There are moments we all have, moments we’ve found bike-riding or skateboarding, painting or finding a groove on a guitar even though we don’t know how to play. This is mind/body. You are in-tune with yourself. Your mind is connected to what your body is doing. Your body is quieting your mind. It’s that simple. Live in that moment. Then remember that moment and relish it. Rinse, repeat.

  • Compete; but know your strengths.

Not all dancers get every job, but a lot of dancers get some of the jobs and those are all the jobs available. There might be more tomorrow, but the work at hand is the work there is. Compete for it if you are suited for it. One thing professional dancers learn very quickly is what their forte is and what people in the front of the room think their forte is. It doesn’t mean they don’t diversify when they have the opportunity. Dancers are constantly searching for new ways to express themselves, push the limits of their craft and become part of something amazing. They try new things and they work on things they aren’t initially awesome at. That said, professional dancers know that some things may be completely out of reach for the present. The techniques will take too long to master in the short term or the fit doesn’t feel right. Have fun getting better at that, but know what you do really well and compete at the highest level with that up front.

  • Pay attention to detail. It’s not a small little thing. It’s everything.

It’s the difference between looking like the powerful deity Shiva and looking like Ed Grimley. Dancers who dance at the highest level have such a brain-body connection that they can make minute adjustments in their body without even being in front of a mirror. A mirror helps, but they are often that astute. The specific position of their pinkie in relation to their ring finger, the angle of their head and neck within the range of a few degrees, where their eyes should be looking and slight tilts in their pelvis and hips. We all can’t be that good with paying attention to the most minute details, but we can focus more on giving 100% to a 99% completed project. Finishing something with that much focus might jolly you up as well, no?

  • Strong and wrong. Always own it. With authority.

Dancers that perform in front of thousands of people at a time know they are not free from making mistakes. What dancers performing at the highest level know is that it goes beyond confidence. It is taking responsibility for all actions. The audience pays to see perfection. While they might not get a perfect performance broken down into milliseconds, what they will get from start to finish is a perfect performance. Why? Because the senses are forgiving when they are not clouded by a storm of excuses and doubt. Jazz musicians live in this zone, making momentary choices that lead to other choices that change a piece from night to night into something special. What they never do, if they’re great, is let a fumble stop the flow. The band needs you. The project needs you. So, you didn’t nail the dismount. Throw your arms up and own the moment. It’s what allows us all to succeed and move on. In the dance world, it is well known that it is better to be strong and wrong than timid and right. Nobody cares if you’re right. Be sure. Now, if you’re in charge of global economies, massive cutting-edge pharmaceutical trials or even my 401K, don’t take this advice! This is meant to keep the ball rolling for those of us with innocuous projects or small hang-ups amidst larger projects that need solutions. If your cavalier attitude risks the lives of other humans, don’t be a jerk! I am talking about getting to the finish line without getting caught up on a very minor detail that could become a huge stumbling block. Get comfortable making mistakes and embrace them. Get over it and others will, too.

  • Find your space. If you can’t, make space in your head to work on what you can’t physically.

This goes beyond visualization. This is working with what you’ve got and still making it work. Dance studio spaces are often limited and personal real estate is a hot commodity. Most good dance classes are tightly packed with sweaty bodies that want to move freely in space, fully extend, cover ground. It is often not possible. Do you know what dancers do? Have you ever seen them? They make these tiny, twitchy movements while they are waiting on the sidelines usually after having been told they are taking turns in groups — just a granular element of what the dance would feel like, but they are doing the dance in their head as others are utilizing the majority of the space. It is sinking into their bodies regardless. Dancers know that repetition is the king of all kings. So when space doesn’t allow them to extend past their physical parameters, they expand the world in their mind. Brilliant, right? Take a note from a bun-head. You can find your space even if it isn’t really there.

  • Dress the part. And, bring spare shoes.

But if you can’t or didn’t, don’t freak out. Namaste. Dancers are used to being told what to wear because dance is about lines and form. It’s not rocket science. But here’s the lesson: make it easy for you to be taken seriously. Within the realm of dance wear, the choices are endless. And, you only need to have one dancer in your life to know that a favorite leotard or pair of tights can make them feel better about the entire universe. This might be what they wear to an audition or the first day of a rehearsal. This is their power suit. And when it fits just right and the look compliments their positive attributes, they feel better about their mission. Take a note.

About spare shoes: be prepared. You might have to tap, you might need jazz heels. If you have them, why wouldn’t you bring them? Don’t force the people around you to imagine what you would be like in a perfect situation. Make it easy on yourself and the people willing to believe in you and your abilities. It takes a lot of the stress out of a situation by being prepared for anything.

  • Strength is nothing without flexibility. And, vice versus.

Find a balance between being strong and rigid, loose and flexible. Somewhere in the middle is where work gets done. A dancer may have tremendous flexibility but lack the strength to hit a beat and get their body back to where it needs to be to reset or hit another mark, create the next picture. This takes extreme strength and discipline. There are also those that have tremendous strength but are limited by their range of motion, or lack thereof. These dancers can hit their marks, but not often to the extent that the eye would like to see. They are missing that last inch or breath that allows the audience to hang in midair with them, stretch into the deep with them, suspend disbelief with them. It is the balance of these two things that creates something magical. We are all probably familiar with nature’s own example of palm trees in a hurricane.

  • Do it with intent. There are literally hundreds waiting in the wings.

This is not threatening talk. Dancers know this all too well. It is the truth. And it’s really about being grateful. Being grateful, being present and nailing it to the wall. So, do it. Watch that Shia LaBeouf meme and just do it. I know it’s silly but you can feel his intent, right? He might come off like a crazy loon, but you are there with him. You believe that he believes what he’s saying. Because he’s doing it with intent. A dancer who moves without intent aught not to move at all. Truly. Every movement requires and deserves ultimate commitment. Otherwise, what are you really doing? Even in practice, we practice with intent. This leads to fulfillment. Which apparently leads to overt happiness.

  • Smile. It costs nothing and it speaks volumes.

I do honestly believe that a lot of the world’s problems could be solved if we just shared more smiles with each other. I am not so naive to offer smiling as a remedy to the great tragedies of our day: war crimes, starvation, human traficking and a million other reasons why you might not feel like smiling. But smiles cure general doldrums like chicken soup cures colds. And all dancers know you are, quite literally, not fully dressed without a smile. A dancer who goes out on stage or enters an audition can hit every move and nail every piece of choreography, but if their face is a snooze, the whole thing is for naught. Now, a director might say they can teach someone to smile, but they can’t teach pick-up or proper technique — but, if the dancer next to you nailed everything and was smiling, what does that say for you? She might be dancing your track tonight. Don’t hate. Smile. You might be fierce, a force to be reckoned with, a real bad mother-shut-your-mouth, but if you don’t know when to smile, you may be wasting your talents. You can look at this like a variation on fake it ‘till you make it. The goal being to make it — and, really smile. Because it’s self-realizing. Because it promotes good vibes and because it should come naturally.

I look forward to hearing about the realizations of others who have been thrust into worlds unknown, fringe observations and the like, so please leave a comment or relatable tale from another corner of the galaxy if you are so inclined. Namaste.

Gary Memi is currently the Director of Touring Productions for MSG Entertainment, producers of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and the upcoming New York Spectacular. He lives and works in New York and writes when he can. Gary supports other artists by way of management incentives and representation via his own firm, MEMIFAM LLC. He also produces and shoots short films & documentaries with intent.

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gary memi

Self appointed Poet Laureate of the Long Island Rail Road. Manager of UGLYBRAINE. Editor of TheBatShat. Hiphop documentarian. Chief of MEMIFAM. Faulted.