How do you design a habit that will change your life? Redesign your habits Part 1

From fear to surfing Ocean Beach

Changing human behavior is one of the most difficult things to do on Earth. Even if you write a 1,656 page report saying that we could lose $141 billion from heat-related deaths, $118 billion from sea level rise and $32 billion from infrastructure damage by the end of the century — people resist change. Arguably forming and sustaining a new behavior until it becomes a habit is even harder, especially as you get older. Which also means if you’re lucky enough to create a product that becomes a habit for people at scale, you hit the jackpot. So last year I started to study my own habits to test some theories from when I was a researcher at the Stanford Persuasive Tech Lab. I set out with the simple goal of surfing once a week, despite not knowing how to surf or swim well. I was warned to “prepare myself for a long road that’s harder than it looks.” Below are some tips that enabled me to overcome barriers, surf over 52 times and catch waves that changed my life.

Part 1: Habit selection

Pick a new habit that makes sense for you

We all have big dreams, like being the world’s largest conservationist or a legendary artist, which are great. Sometimes the best way to get there is to start with what you have and what’s in your control — your habits. I think selecting a new habit that’s reasonable for you is an important step that’s often overlooked. At this point in my life, trying to change my behavior so I could play for Manchester United or fly to the moon, probably isn’t realistic. Those aspirations would set me up for failure. Although failure is a wise teacher, it also can be a negative feedback cycle that makes you less likely to take risk and try new things in the future. For most adults, I’m willing to bet it’s better to choose a new habit that’s feasible for their unique situation, than to stretch for something that’s nearly impossible. Can you commit enough bandwidth and resources to form a new habit? If the habit sticks, then what happens?

Choose a habit with multiple compounding benefits

Last time I checked, habits like drinking and smoking don’t make you smarter, healthier, or help you become a better person. Instead of nurturing negative habits, my friend Carson inspired me to think about developing a hobby like photography which could add value to my life in ways that grow over time as it becomes a habit. For example, photography can help you see the world differently through more awareness of details like light, composition, and color. It can also take you all over the world, expose you to technology, connect you with strangers, capture unseen stories, become a skill for work and expand as you devote time to it. Similarly I chose surfing because I thought it would be a good way to connect with nature, exercise outside, go on fun adventures, spend intimate time with friends, and practice active meditation etc. Consider whether a habit has benefits that intersect with different parts of your life (health, social, environmental, etc.) so that you’re extra motivated and more likely to experience positive results. Which habits offer benefits that grow over time for many parts of your life?

Find a habit that aligns with your values

Doing things that don’t fit who you are is usually a bad recipe, especially when you do things out of obligation. For example, going to church and pretending you believe in God because of your family is probably not the right habit for you. On the other hand, finding a habit that reinforces your values can be very powerful because your actions and beliefs are integrated. Try exercises like the Desire Map to discover what you want to feel and read books like Let My People Go Surfing to help you clarify your values. One of the reasons I chose surfing is that I value nature and care about what future generations will inherit. Every time I’m in the water is a reminder. I also wanted to develop a deeper relationship with water because it’s the principle measure of health on our planet. It’s been amazing to learn more about where life comes from and also tragic to see our pollution kill whole ecosystems like coral reefs—the rainforests of our ocean. In my experience, when a habit is connected to your values, it can become more than a mindless behavior you do on autopilot, it can become a more profound ritual. How might your habits better support your moral and spiritual values?

In my next posts I’ll reflect on habit definition, and increasing your motivation and ability. If you have any questions or comments, let me know.

Thank you to all my friends who supported me surfing including Eugene Clark-Herrera, Victor Mathieux, Loren Baxter, Blake Reary, Casey Martin, Steve Vassallo, Majo Molfino, Dave Baggeroer, Ben Blumenfeld and many more—it wouldn’t be possible without you.