I’m frustrated.

I’ve been frustrated a lot over the past few weeks. Now, 118 days into a new way of life and work. Be your own boss, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

It is fun. I know what a privilege I am living and how many people aspire to someday do what I’m doing now.

These past few months have quickly redefined work and reward for me. But they have also redefined stress. Emotional, mental and physical.

Right or wrong, simplistic or not, I attribute the majority of my stress to a lack of personal direction which is unsupported by a lack of personal management.

I am making and breaking promises to myself. Work is not getting done. Things aren’t going to plan.

This is not for the lack of planning, however, and that exacerbates the problem. My penchant for planning and productivity theory has far outpaced my ability and drive to execute. I plan, and re-plan, and think about the plan, tweak the plan, and then in the moment, toss the plan aside for what feels right.

And so, I’m frustrated.

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I shouldn’t be surprised.

I know why I blame my technique. It feels good to blame a technique, creating an excuse to try another one. “I just haven’t found my groove yet…maybe this-new-idea will help!”. Bull$%*t.

I’m frustrated because I haven’t done what I talk about doing.

I don’t know if my theories work or not, because I’ve never followed through. I’ve never trusted my plans. I don’t trust my plans. I don’t execute.

I need to stop talking and thinking and planning and theorizing.

I need to do the work.

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So, I’m going to do the work.

At the beginning of every week, I will plan my week. Once. That plan should be captured and posted as a hypothesis: How do I intend to execute? When that week is over, I’ll evaluate what worked and what didn’t.

My accountability metric is simple. A public post to this channel. Each day. How well did I follow my plan? What enabled me to do more? What became an obstacle? What is one thing I may consider doing differently next week?

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The internet needs another productivity theorist like the proverbial hole to the head. This is not about perfecting and sharing another productivity theory. This is about me doing what I need to do.

The theme of this realization is explicitly inspired by Casey Neistat’s mantra: “Do more.” Here’s a guy who challenged himself to produce a short film each and every day.

He does it. Why can’t I write for 10 minutes? The importance of developing the skills of self-direction, and supporting it with self-management cannot be understated.

I know what I need to do. It’s time to do it.