Replace Demeaning Phrase “Parenting the Parent” with “Caring for a Parent”

When caring for an elderly parent there are days when you have probably thought to yourself that YOU feel like the parent and oh, how things have changed! Your mother or father who have been a guiding force in your life, are now dependent on you as you once were on them.

If you have used the phrase “role reversal” or “parenting the parents,” you’re in good company. It’s a catch phrase in the elder care industry used with good intentions to describe how family caregivers can sometimes feel — helpless or frustrated as they bathe, groom and even change diapers for their elderly parents. However, these phrases can contribute to negative, disrespectful patterns of thinking and we should consider using them more carefully.

Words and thoughts carry meaning, and affect how you view and approach situations. Suggesting your loved one is reversing in maturity, is needy, or is behaving as a child — is demeaning. Since actions are based in thought, we need to keep our thoughts respectful and positive, as much as possible. Keeping a positive perspective will also benefit all involved.

Instead of thinking the parenting roles have reversed, think of yourself as having an important role as a caregiver that evolves with time. You’re helping a loved one who deserves to age with respect and dignity. You probably know your parents better than anyone, and as you are caring for them or assisting in their care along with a caregiving professional, they deserve your utmost opinion that reflects your love for them.

Contact us to learn more about how our professional caregivers can respectfully help your parents remain independent.