Chronicles of Turning 40: Life Balance:
Is there such a thing? How does one get to such a wonderful sounding place? More importantly, if you do indeed get there, how do you stay there? Reading a friend’s post on social media this week, she asked her friends to respond if any of them had their lives together so she could get tips from them. I challenged her to let me know if she found any friends who did (not surprisingly, I haven’t heard back yet)
I do not think there is a good answer as to how to find life balance. Everyone’s version of their balance point will also differ. Some people’s balance points will tip toward family, some will tip toward work, some will tip towards hobbies. Depends on what and where you want your balance to be (currently I want my balance point to be located on a get away island, but that’s a whole other story)
No matter what your focus is, the balance will shift and fluctuate. Like the ocean, the waves are always coming and going. Sometimes the waves are smooth. Sometimes it is an all out hurricane. But regardless, the waves are still there no matter what. Some days you feel your head is completely under water, other times you are swimming the current like you are in the Iron Man triathalon (just assuming, as I have never actually completed a triathalon ). Hopefully though, you are spending the majority of your time comfortably treading water. It is most likely guaranteed you are not likely spending your days on a float with a drink with an umbrella in it (eventually I will get to my get away island and this is what I will do).
Don’t get caught up in feeling like your idea of balance has to match other people’s versions of balance. Thats why we are all different. Back to Part 2, keeping up with the Joneses again, forget about the Joneses. March to the beat of your own drum. Your beat may not be pitch perfect, but hey, that’s ok too. (Speaking of drums, no one in my house is getting a drum set for Christmas either).
I think that the first step is figuring out where you want your balance point to be and then being generally comfortable with where you have established it. Most importantly, you have to remember that you can’t have it all, all of the time. There will likely be concessions that you make along the way in order to keep yourself balanced or to bring yourself back towards a balanced state.
The difficulty is that you alone are not in complete charge in determining your balance point. Family, work etc all place their demands and constraints on you and they fluctuate as well. So essentially, I feel like you can’t spend a great deal of time and energy trying to create this perfect life balance since much of it is not in your control to begin with. You just have to roll with it and ride the waves as best you can. But you can’t get stuck in the rip currents either. Oh wait, that brings us right back to the concept of balance.
In short, balance is a fluid state with continual change. At times, it is in your control, at times it is not. My version of balance will be different than someone elses. I’m still figuring out how to ride those waves. I’m not very good at it most days. I still need the cuff to keep me connected to my board. But I’ll make it.
Stay tuned for Part 4:
Self Perception & Image
