Dating Life and Lumpectomy! Pt 2
Six years ago, I had a lumpectomy and was concerned about dating and divulging this information to a potential partner. The few casual dates that I encountered didn’t even warrant a thought in that direction or any future thoughts of togetherness at all. I met Mr. Dirty, Mr. Pumpus, Mr. All AboutHim, Mr. WhoHadNothingButWantedMuch, Mr. TooFarAwayAndLiedAboutIt, Mr. FeedingHisEgo, Mr.GivemeMoney, and finally when I met Mr. Right, I was truly apprehensive. Looked for any red-flag to end the first call. His voice sounded different and I was on the edge of ending the call but my spirit advised wait and I did. We spoke a second time and made a date to meet two days later. After our second date, it was every weekend, Friday thru Sunday, and he drove about three hours total each day and the gas prices weren’t cheap. His efforts spoke volumes. This all started in November 2015 a few weeks before my birthday. When I birthday came, I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want him to feel obligated to take me out or buy me a gift. He found out on Facebook, that it was my birthday and immediately called to take me out. I advised he didn’t have too but he insisted and we went to the Village in Woodland Hills. We share a Beets Burger together, I wasn’t that hungry. One reason I didn’t want to share my birthday with him because he is a few years younger than me and I wasn’t comfortable dating someone younger than me. During the whole meal, the age matter never came up. Funny thing, in all our conversations it just never came up but I wondered if he felt the same as me. This is where men and women are different, men being more physical and women more emotional. Of course, finally I told him but it was a while into the relationship and he confirmed was curious but age is just a number and not a breaking point for me.
All was going well, so I decided to share with him that I had a lumpectomy about six years ago. He was very understanding and this revelation did not affect our relationship at all. What a relief?! You see I had always wondered how it would be when I told a potential mate. Thank God that is was behind me and now I can relax and enjoy our journey together. We had been dating a little over a year and all was well. Was enjoying our life together and forgot to get my mammogram done.
On December 3, 2016, he proposed at the same venue where we had our second date, African Artists Association). I was truly shocked as he got down on one knee in front of everyone. As he got down on one knew, everyone in the room screamed in celebration of his efforts. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a ring box and proceed to get the ring and proposed marriage as he nervously tried to force the ring on the wrong finger. I grab the ringer and put on what I though was the right hand but turned out to be the wrong hand. The first hand was the right hand. We were both just nervous. After all was said and done, people kept coming to us congratulating us and hugging us.
After this, we had another party in Palmdale to go to. I really didn’t want to go but Ole thought we should go and share the good news with our other friends at their party and we did. We arrived there two hours later, and after settling in at their party, I shared my ring and everyone screamed. We are loving sharing our engagement. Also, note, we got this on videotape and Ole pulled out the videotape to show them. He was so proud and I was too but didn’t let on that I was. Funny thing about all this, I always wanted to be proposed to in that manner. You see it on TV all the times, but I thought never in a million years for me. Ole later advised, he had always wanted to propose in that manner. Go figure that!!
We are now engaged, shared with my family and his family. We made plans to visit his family for Christmas and planning for the wedding. With the holidays, so much to think about, I really forgot about my mammogram until it hit me one day. Christmas, New Years’ Day and Ole’s Birthday is behind us and now he wants to start planning the marriage. Gosh, I felt I can’t get a moment to breathe. That’s one of the reason I forgot my mammogram. For the last six years, never forgot for two reasons, November my birthday month and the month I had my lumpectomy done.
Ugh, now it’s January and I realize I haven’t had my mammogram and without hesitation, I called Kaiser and made an appointment as early as possible. Cool, no problem. Pt 3 coming!