A Blind Man’s Perspective On Sexuality
When it comes to my experiences dealing with the visual world on sexuality, I feel that many sighted people are unaware of how we function, how we are stimulated and enjoy stimulating a partner in all ways and dimensions, and our need for intimacy and connectedness.
In my own sexual experiences with sighted partners, I have often been complimented as being the best that my partners have had, while simultaneously being degraded as being too affectionate, clingy, and needy.
Because sighted partners are unaware of our needs, resentment usually follows.
It is my hope that, in offering my perspective on the topic of blindness and sexuality, that I can provide clarity and understanding to the topic, and clear up the confusion in this area between the blind and sighted worlds.
In order for the visual world to understand my perspective on sexuality as a blind man, it is critical to address how I, as a blind person, interact with others, and how that differs from the sighted world.
A Perspective On Blindness and Social Interaction
Sighted people enjoy being stimulated by numerous visual communication messages, including facial expressions, gestures, body language, movies, TV shows, video communication, images, and visual stimuli in the exchanges of affection.
As a blind man, I am not stimulated visually like people in the sighted world.
I can sense body language, emotions, facial expressions, and the disposition of partners by posture and tone of voice, which are all cues I pick up by listening.
However, even though I try to maintain eye contact when communicating with people, eye contact does not stimulate me in the same way that it does someone in the visual world, because I do not see facial expressions, gestures, and body language.
Although I can sense when someone is looking into my eyes, I don’t feel the romantic sense of euphoria that sighted people feel from these visual cues.
Since I am only able to perceive light and dark, colors, and outlines, I do not have the vision to see in full detail or to read print.
Even with the light perception I have, I prefer the dark, because I navigate using audio, not visual cues, although I do enjoy the warmth of the sunlight.
Although I enjoy feeling the sun, even the best sunglasses are not able to block out the glare, which can really impede my navigation, even when I attempt to shut my eyes.
Before I discuss my perspective on sexuality, I want people in the visual world to understand a few key points:
- I was born with bilateral optic nerve hypoplasia, which is my type of blindness.
- I have been blind my whole life, which is almost 30 years.
- I have no interest in corrective procedures, healings, or artificial intelligence devices to correct my blindness.
- I enjoy being who I am, I see blindness as an opportunity to empower myself and others, and I am completely confident in myself, including sexual confidence.
- Blind people are beautiful, and are sexual beings, and are fully capable of enjoying the giving and reciprocity of intimacy.
How Blind People Give and Receive Affection
The greatest secret to ecstatic intimacy is one that is seldom understood and appreciated by the visual world.
The best sexual experiences occur when partners fully stimulate each other in all ways and dimensions.
For me, because I do not see the ways that a sighted person may communicate with me in terms of visual cues, I am erotically stimulated by touch, taste, aromas, pleasure, pain, and intuition.
For me, I am readily aroused by an encounter where I can take my time stimulating a partner in all ways and dimensions, and be stimulated likewise in return.
Spending quality time being intimate is vital for my satisfaction, whether in a casual or serious relationship.
While my need for physical touch, exploration, and quality time in intimacy has been misunderstood by the sighted world as clingy and needy, if I am not properly stimulated, I become depressed and withdraw, because the change in the frequency of affection upsets my internal balance and the feeling of security I receive from the intense feelings of intimate bonding.
As a blind man, I realize that those of you in the visual world receive stimulation every day from visual cues, and being with someone who is blind may feel overstimulating.
However, recognize our need for affection, quality time, and exploratory intimacy, and you will learn to love and cherish your blind partner, who will be more attentive and intuitive to your needs, because we, as blind people, rely on giving and receiving multidimensional affection, and if we are in love with you, we will give our whole souls to you, which is a precious and sacred gift that is worth treasuring with all of your being.
Finally, understand that my perspective is unique to me, that every blind person has their own views on this topic.
By being open and willing to communicate and mutually give and reciprocate in intimacy, you and your blind partner will appreciate each other for the uniqueness and bond that you create, cultivate, and evolve.
For simplicity, I have discussed the scenario of a blind and sighted partner for this analysis, recognizing that, as in all of life, the decisions on types of relationships, levels of intimacy, and mannerisms of expression are diverse, and there is no “one size fits all” in this area, as in all of life itself.