I was minding my own business
When this woman made this
Remark about toxic masculinity.

I am not a special snowflake
I take critique with no bellyache
But found her words toxic with salinity.

So I did what all good men must
And fussed it was unjust
To paint me with the brush of misogyny.

It’s not about you she dismissed
Don’t enlist straw men in this
You are showing your male fragility.

I could see that she was confused
She used words that accused
I said she was speaking emotionally.

She blocked me then and it was plain
The pains I took to explain
Were lost on her mental inferiority.

Seeing now that I was oppressed,
Depressed I expressed
With a Guy Fawkes mask, my nonconformity.

Originally published at https://erellsworth.com.

In April 2016 a weasel chewed into one of the electrical transformers of the Large Hadron Collider, causing a short circuit and shutting the machine down.

What the Fake News won’t tell you is that the weasel incident caused a rift throughout the multiverse. The walls that separated each reality haven’t been right ever since.

Some people say this is when we entered what they call the Darkest Timeline.

I call it the Weasel Timeline.

In the Weasel Timeline, an alarming number of people seem to be divorced from reality. While it can be frustrating to encounter these people, try to remember that it’s not their fault. They just belong to a different universe.

Originally published at erellsworth.com.

Clap if you miss a shared reality.

The world grew fuzzy as the walls of reality thinned and buckled.

“Are you ok?” Mark asked.

The language was unfamiliar yet Rhea understood the words.

“Yes. I just got a little dizzy,” the response came unbidden.

“Probably allergies,” her husband said. Except she didn’t have a husband. …

Probably pretty bad.

Throughout most of the Bush administration I remember news media reporting on how good the economy was doing. The Bush tax cuts were working! So they said. I never really believed it. As a child of the 90s, my baseline for what a decent economy “feels” like is probably skewed…

Happy Forking Friday!

Necromancers’ Guild Condemns DHS Kidnapping Policies

by Frankie G.

Today, the Necromancers’ Guild Of The Hellbound (NGOTH) held a press conference in a refurbished cave beneath the intersection of two leylines in Washington, D.C., to criticize the “recent & horrifying revelations” that the US government has lost nearly 1500 migrant children.

Read more…

Emergency Affirmations I Launched Into While Dancing At The Club At 4 AM

E.R. Ellsworth

Co-creator of The Black Suit of Death, not a shill for the Illuminati. https://erellsworth.com

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