And take control back into your hands.

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

Fashion photographer Bill Cunningham was known to decline payment for some of his magazine jobs. When a young student asked him about it, he said: “If you don’t take money, they can’t tell you what to do, kid.”

This was Cunningham’s way of keeping his artistic integrity.

But you don’t have to work in the world of art and glamour to be familiar with these compromises. We are constantly pressured to give up control over our life and work in exchange for advancement.

Some Compromises Demand Too Much From Us

My business partner and I decided to bootstrap our startup. …


Stop managing your time. Start managing your focus.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I used to worry constantly about doing things the right way.

Then I became a dad.

Suddenly, time was a precious commodity. My priorities shifted. Instead of fussing over my projects, I had a kid who needed all the time I could give him.

I had to work on my efficiency and change the way I approached tasks. These are the main lessons I’ve learned:

#1. Embrace the 2 minute-rule.

If something takes less than 2 minutes, do it as soon as you become aware of it. Don’t make a plan to do it later.

  • Answer short emails as soon as you open your inbox.


They start with a rebellion.

Photo by Gelmis Bartulis on Unsplash

To achieve great success, you have to become a rebel.

Change your life and change the world around you at the same time; break the unspoken rules holding you back.

The world isn’t fair to most of us. But if you’re brave, smart, and principled, you can level the playing field a little bit.

If your success in life doesn’t match your ambition, here are the traits you need to cultivate.

#1 Successful people create their own reality.

Ask yourself: “Am I using my mental ability to make history, or am I using it merely to record history made by others?” (from David J. …


First-world problems galore.

Source: Flickr

If you’ve ever listened to Tim’s podcast, you know he starts each episode with a cheery, passionate little speech promoting his sponsors.

Here’s a recent one:

I get asked all the time, “If you could only use one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system.

That’s…


Social skills you need to relearn

Photo by JESSICA TICOZZELLI from Pexels

Recent events were hard on our relationships. We saw a spike in divorces and breakups, and plenty of friendships exploded during the lockdown months. Others withered away in silence. The stress and claustrophobia we were dealing with made it hard to be considerate of others.

But there’s no more need to maintain social distancing (at least in some countries). We can see our friends again. So what’s the best way to make sure it all goes well?

1. Be a friend, not a shrink.

When I met up with some old buddies, I noticed we all developed a new tendency: we talk a lot more about mental…


#3. I have orgasms

Photo by Yasin Yusuf on Unsplash

The internet is a wonderful invention. Every day, it gives us new reasons to feel guilty about ourselves.

I try to ignore that bullshit, but it slips past my filters more often than I’d like. Here are a few gems I came across over the last month or so.

According to the internet, I'm failing at life because:

1. I’m too strict with my kids.

According to the internet powers that be, children should be able to do whatever they like, whenever they like.

I should be teaching them that consideration is for losers (and so is sharing).

If I don’t change my ways, I am going…


“Everything will be OK”

Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels

People love to talk, even when they have nothing smart to say.

And some of them love sharing shitty advice that might do serious damage to ourselves and the people around us.

Here are my top picks for infuriating pieces of advice you should never accept.

1. “Never give up.”

Relentless hours spent in an office with an obnoxious boss who’s sucking out every last bit of your energy and self-esteem… but you’re staying there for the fifth year in a row just because that job will send your career skyrocketing?

Come on!

Resilience is all well and good, but at some point, it…


You’re not shallow or forgetful, you’re just doing it wrong.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Even if you’re a lifelong bookworm, you might find it hard to retain what you read. This is a common experience, especially these days.

It’s also disappointing as hell. If you think you’re ‘bad at reading’, you get reluctant to pick up a book. Why waste your time? You’re not going to remember what you read anyway.

The good news is that you can train your brain out of mindless skimming. Your path might be different than mine, but I’d like to share what worked for me.

1. Choose substance over style.

“Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is better than following whatever makes money.” …


Sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I met with a friend a few days ago for lunch and between steak and dessert he asked me:

Why do you spend so much time writing, don’t you have more serious business to attend to?”

We’d been friends for a while. But I’m not sure I still want to stay in touch with him after this.

I’ve been getting lots of unsolicited advice lately, and it’s getting on my nerves.

“I heard you’re thinking of moving. I could never uproot my family like that, maybe you should reconsider.”

“You look a bit… tired. …


…or is this something you learned?

Photo by christian ferrer on Unsplash

There were periods in my life when I couldn’t stop worrying about things. It was partly due to circumstances — I’d moved to another country, changed my career path and had to take care of my family all at the same time.

But soon, my anxiousness grew disproportionate. I worried about the weather, about leaving good impressions on people I’d never see again. I was constantly haunted by the feeling that I had to take care of something.

I mostly worried about things that were out of my control and it was new to me.

Growing up, I had a…

Eric Sangerma

Dad, Husband, Founder of Wholistique. I write about Mental Health, Relationships and Productivity. Follow me: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericsangerma/

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