weaving in and out of
the music.
caught
between the then and the now
transported back to the places i was broken
those moments where we shared one look
just one look
one single note and i am overcome
⠀⠀⠀flooded
gasping for air
i am there. i can touch you.
i let it carry me away to god knows where
a feather on the breeze
at the mercy of my own memory
the way their voices squeeze my heart
triggered in all the best ways
⠀⠀⠀and some of the worst.
music that can turn feathers to stone
now to then
⠀⠀⠀here to…there.
palpitating with certainty
wrestling with rage and
⠀⠀⠀gutwrenching loss
sometimes i am back to the place we danced
hundred dollar heels on temporary pavers
you, me and the moon
⠀⠀⠀and a ring on my finger
or driving back from god knows where
48 hour awake exhaustion and the
agony of returning to secret lives
music is the first place I return when I need
⠀⠀⠀clarity
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀but also torture
sometimes it is a prison of my own making
⠀⠀⠀sometimes
it is there, stroking my hair and sending me to sleep
sometimes it is the soundtrack
to my own violent undoing
sinking, losing myself to hell
⠀⠀⠀and all the ways he sent me there

Written by

Write the truest sentence you know. -Ernest Hemingway

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store