How to stop being so miserable (For the most part)
From one former miserable person to another, I understand how hard it is to deal with sadness and being overall miserable. It took almost my entire college career to overcome this feeling, but I did and I’ll tell you how.
Step 1: Hold yourself accountable. You are miserable because you allow yourself to be. Of course there are things that you cannot control like being so far in debt that you won’t dig yourself out for another decade or two, but life is so much bigger than money. Once you realize that you allow things to affect you so much that your mental health and happiness is affected and you STOP this, you’ll feel so weightless, free. Once you realize that your happiness is 100% in your hands you’ll be happy (for the most part, depression is hard to overcome). So, stop letting small shit make you mad. Stop letting what people say to you get to you. EVEN if they’re your family. Families are infamous for being a source of criticism which leads to sadness. Stop allowing yourself to even get to the point of argument or yelling. It is not worth your health and happiness.
Step 2: Don’t let stuff bother you so much. Look, it is easier said than done, but it is very possible. I’m a worry wart. I worry about everything and I take a lot of criticism very personally. Once I stopped taking things personally and realized a lot of stuff is not worth my sadness, my anger, my anxiety I stopped.
Step 3: Stop holding in your anger, sadness, and overall emotion. I find that a lot of men hold in their emotions or when they do release these feelings it is such an uncontrollable rage or rant that makes it obvious that your cup has long overflowed. I would be the same way for a long long time (which is wild because like, I’m only 21. Not very long). I would rage and rant and be so uncontrollably mad and I just excused this to be my personality but it wasn’t. My personality was much better than this. SO I got a journal and I would write what makes me angry (Reference my last article: When did I become and Angry Black Woman). I write about what makes me sad and I write about all the things that are bothering me in my life.
Step 4: Acknowledge the things you DO have in life instead of the things you DON’T have in life. This one gives me the most happiness and satisfaction these days. Again, grab a journal or a piece of paper and tell yourself (Or the universe) all the things that you’re grateful for in your life. For example: I am grateful that I have the opportunity to attend a four year university. By writing this I am acknowledging that I have an opportunity that others do not, and that is something that I should be happy about and to be thankful for it. By acknowledging the good things in your life, it is really hard to focus on all of the things that are bad or the things that you lack in life.
Step 5:Realize that a lot of life is bigger than you. You cannot control every aspect of your life. You cannot change things that are bigger than you like the ways the world operate. All you can do is go with the flow and do as best as you know how.
Step 6: Be SELFISH. This is so important. As people we are so worried about how our actions affect people, and while you should to a certain extent, you cannot allow other people’s happiness depend on you. If they are showing concerning signs of needing help, then obviously be there for them (Side note: always be there for your friends and check in on them.) Do what makes YOU happy. Live the life YOU want to live because no one has to live your life but you. No one is responsible for your happiness but YOU.
Step 7: Separate yourself from negativity. Negative people bring negative things in your life (It’s almost like it’s common sense). You don’t have to stop 100% associating with this person/people but by distancing yourself you won’t allow their lack of drive or negativity affect you.
Step 8: Probably the most important step, Stop caring what other people are doing and most importantly stop caring what they think about you. We let what others think about us affect us way too much. We let their successes define our failures and that is honestly bullshit. We all have our own paths and stories and what others do and say does not define our level or future of success. Just remember, just because they’re successful right now doesn’t mean you’ll be successful forever. Be a winner, because you are a winner.
That’s basically it. That’s all I do to stay happy and content with the life I live. Your time is coming if it hasn’t already. Sit tight, relax, and wait for your blessings because I promise you, they aren’t as far as they seem.
