Lost

Momma… Where are you when I need you?

My heart feels like its a million miles away and no one can hear me anymore speaking inside…

Not even me.

God catch these tears falling…

Though I have lost all belief in what is here, I still believe in you…

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for always clothing me…

Thank you for showing me when there was no one to show me…

Thank you for being merciful to my naive mentality unlearned as a country girl…

Seeking for you in everything but me…

God, forgive me for all the mistakes I have made… even these ones I am thinking now and fighting as I focus on you through this pain…

Heal me God …

This disease… Not *** but this one thinking there is someone on Earth able to compare to the love you have shown that exists inside of me so passionately…

Forgive me lord for thinking there was anyone better than the you that you have made me to be complete and whole already…

Hold me Father… I embrace you with this gift…

Thank you for all you bestow upon my childrens lives and my own.

No I won’t continue crying in hopelessness, because I know you have not abandoned me like the world has done…

I trust you know my heart oh lord… Forgive me for impatience…

Forgive me for trying to control things hastily making all these fast and wrong decisions.

God shake me!!!

Make me!!!

Capture these tears dripping from my cheeks grieving …

I don’t want this past to haunt me…

I forgive all that hurts so deep…

God bless everyone who did not mean to kill me…

Because I am thankful for each death that in you gifted me life as you rebirthed me…

Resurrecting all that lays dead…

I shall die always for you lord Almighty… Give my very life for you are more than worthy…

Its all I have and I know if I give it to you… I can keep it and it will be more blessed then it was given, once you reflect me and gift it back…

The world thinks I am crazy…

But I will keep giving you all I am

❤ Holy God I bow my head to ask you… Please lead me the way.