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I’ve never done this before..

I’ve never written what has happened to me altogether, let alone post it. I believe in the cathartic release of posting unnerving things but lets see how it goes. I’m writing as I’m getting over a small panic attack, so I may need to take a break.

In 8th grade. I was followed into the bathroom by a stranger, he pushed me into the sink and onto the floor. He stabbed me in the arm when I screamed, saying “if you tell anyone I will find you”. I’ve always told people it was a burn. I don’t remember much from that event, it’s been suppressed i suppose.

In high school, i began dating a boy. A long distance relationship. Started out normal but he started to control what I wore, who I was friends with, and what I said. Then he started with the name calling to keep me compliant. He then hit me when he saw me. He put pills in my drink to cause a seizure. ( I have a history of them) He refused to call the ambulance or even do anything. He posted pictures of my naked body on social media and threatened me to send more. He would threaten to hurt me or post more things and tag my family. He told me I deserved what happened to me. The worst thing he did was force me to have a threesome with his friend. His friend apologized for raping me. My boyfriend never did.

Safe to say he’s not my boyfriend anymore. So that’s why I have PTSD in a nutshell. I’m always telling myself to just get over it but anybody with a mental illness knows it’s not that easy.