
Why didn’t I stand up for myself…why don’t I now? Because I don’t see it as worth it. A fight where I have to make someone see through my eyes, in the complex way I view the world, how and why what they are doing is hurting me. Half the time they shout you down or ice you out before you can even get that far. I’m not in any real danger like I used to be in the toxic environment I once lived in. Why waste my time damaging relationships I’m happy enough with when I personally have the energy and strength to just not. Ultimately it takes less energy to shoulder it than it does to confront it for me. Besides, confrontation goes against how hard I work to be a nice and good person and who wants that?
…o become corrupted and distracted by historic minutia, everyday luxuries and comforting amusements. One of the hardest parts about growing up is realizing that the second you figure out how to really take care of yourself, then you have to start taking care of others. To take care of only yourself when you have the capacity to also care for others is to be a selfish dick.