A girl kicked your ass.

By Eric Filipkowski, September 27, 2016

Photo credit: oneroomwithaview.wordpress.com

Hilary Clinton is in a pickle. She is clearly the most-qualified choice for president, but nobody likes her. And that’s the most important thing when you are running for president: people want a guy they can have a beer with. Clinton isn’t a guy and almost as bad, she probably drinks wine or sparkling water or whatever they drink in New York City.

You ever notice how in most action movies, the good guy kicks the good bad guy’s ass, but he decides to spare him and let the law handle it, at the last moment, because that’s what good guys are supposed to do?

But then the bad guy takes a cheap shot when the good guy’s back is turned and then the good guy has to kill him after all? That’s America.

The bad guy needs to die. That’s clear. But murder… that’s messy. We don’t feel good about that.

But if that German guy from Die Hard comes back to life and Carl Winslow has to shoot him to save Die Hard’s life, that’s just common sense!

So we really don’t want a candidate to carefully explain policies or apologize or present thoughtful arguments. We say we do. Because that’s the right thing. And we like to think we want what’s best.

But I feel like if when he went on some insulting tirade, she just walked over there, called him a pussy and punched him in the fucking face, she would win the whole thing. America would just cancel the election and say, “Forget it, you win.”

America doesn’t want to watch you let Draco walk away after he called you a ‘mudblood,’ safe in the knowledge that he’s a miserable human being who will never know true friendship and love, America wants you to punch Draco in the fucking face.

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Originally published at ericfilipkowski.com on September 27, 2016.